Sirius Expelled

Sirius Expelled Part 9

Note: This is a short Remus POV. It'll make sense later in the story, plus I think Sirius needed a break from torture. Let's let Remus suffer a bit, shouldn't we? I love him, but his cruel words from before will come back to bite him. And I will not be doing frequent Remus POV'S, only on occasions I think are important or for the future.

While Sirius felt alone, so did Remus. Ever since Sirius had been expelled, Remus had felt lonely and alone. Something inside of him was numb and hollow, his heart had become broken glass he was trying to mend. Sirius had shattered the glass into tiny shards and Remus was left behind to fix it.
Remus woke up after a particularly bad transformation. For the first time since... Well since Sirius had betrayed him, he changed dangerously. Instead of howling at his window, he had turned violent. His voice had given out from screaming, howling in anger.  James and Peter had transformed and both looked terrified of him. Without Sirius to keep up with Remus, they couldn't let the wolf escape the shed. James had a scratch on his back, bleeding, but it wasn't overly deep. He'd fought the wolf to prevent him from leaving.
"James."
Remus's voice cracked, going in and out, and he winced.
"Prongs. I'm sorry."
James turned to his friend, his eyes hollow and exhausted.
"I know mate." he said through gritted teeth. "It was the wolf, not you."
This didn't console Remus in any way. He attempted to pull his shirt over his head and couldn't fight a groan of pain. Something was wrong with his right arm. It was throbbing in pain and he could barely move it. It looked wrong, at an awkward angle and Remus could no longer bear the pain. He collapsed to the bed, unable to keep himself up.
"I thought it was getting better," he said softly. "But it's not. I hurt you, James. I fought you. Why?l
James shook his head slowly but Peter spoke up.
"I think it's Padfoot. When you guys were together.." he trailed off as James gave him a furious look. "Uh, never mind."
"When we were together what?" Remus asked, his voice cold as he thought he knew what Peter was going to say.
"Well, he knew you. He understood the wolf inside you." Peter pressed on, glancing consciously at James. "Siri-Padfoot- was the one who could control the wolf and keep it contained. I don't know what's been happening lately, but clearly tonight was different then the last ones."
Remus stared in silence, comprehending Peter's words. James watched the two of them. He knew what Peter had said was likely, but he also couldn't hurt Remus like this. So he stayed silent, allowing the other boys to think.
"When you get back to our room, look in my trunk. All the way to the left there's ointment. It's the best on my claw scratches. And again, Prongs I'm sorry."
"Moony, it's fine. But about Padfoot-"
"You better leave. Madam Pomfrey will be here soon." Remus turned away, avoiding the topic of his ex-boyfriend. "See you later."
After a moment's pause, James nodded.
"Bye mate." he obliged, pulling Peter away by the elbow. "See you in class."
They left, leaving Remus alone with his thoughts. And it was a good thing that they did, because his mind was spinning. He couldn't get Peter's words about Sirius out of his mind. No matter how hard he had tried, he hadn't been able to get him out of his mind. Sirius crept into every thought and memory he had. Their room felt emptier without him, classes had been more silent, and they hadn't pulled a single prank without him. After Winter Break Remus had almost been desperate enough to ask Regulus for news. But Regulus entered with a broken look in his eyes and was back to flinching at every door opening and closing. Remus knew that look in his eyes. Something dark had happened at the Black's over break, and he couldn't bring himself to say anything to the younger boy.
"Padfoot," Remus whispered the name for the first time in months.
He has so much to say to him, good, bad, everything, but he couldn't put it into words. So he stayed silent until Madam Pompfrey entered the room.
"Oh, Remus dear!" she cried when she saw him nursing his arm. "What happened?"
"I don't know." he whispered, tears welling in his eyes. "I don't know."
Madam Pompfrey blinked at Remus's tears. She knew he was tough and she had never seen him cry from the pain.
"What happened?" she asked again, kinder this time, not asking about the pain but about Remus himself.
Remus hesitated.
"It was worse," he said eventually. "I've never felt so... Alone."
"It's okay." she said, softly. "It's okay."
"I miss him."
The words escaped before Remus could stop himself. His heart jumped as he met Madam Pompfrey's eyes. She looked shocked for a couple seconds, but nodded.
"It'll be okay." she repeated. "It'll be okay."
He didn't know if he could believe her, but he nodded. Without another word, Madam Pompfrey lifted her wand, muttering. Remus felt his arm pop and his shoulder exploded in pain. He cried out and shut his eyes, trying not to let his weakness show.
"There. Can you move it?" she asked.
Slowly, Remus raised his arm, wincing as the sore muscles contracted. Sweat was dripping down his face as he tried to cope with the growing pain. After lifting it a few inches, he had to drop it as the pain was too much.
"Let's get you back to the hospital wing." Madam Pompfrey said kindly.
With a nod, Remus used his good arm to pull himself off the bed and staggered to the door. His legs ached but he forced himself to walk normally, through the tunnel up to the castle, till he collapsed in a bed at the hospital wing. Madam Pompfrey set to work while Remus shut his exhausted eyes. His arm was throbbing in pain and he felt the lure of sleep tugging at him.
"Don't fall asleep just yet." Madam Pompfrey warned Remus as he struggled to keep his eyes open.
She handed him a potion that he recognized as a pain potion. Remus drank it and almost immediately felt a warmth running through his body, dulling the pain in his shoulder. He relaxed onto the bed, unable to fight the exhaustion anymore. Giving in, Remus shut his eyes and fell asleep. But it wasn't a peaceful sleep. It was a dangerous one.