Sirius Expelled

Sirius Expelled: Part 27

Regulus' POV but next chapter we will be going back to Sirius'.

TW: child abuse (implied not graphic), references to self-harm, reference to a drunk character (brief) and a lot of fighting between characters.

The wind was icy cold but Regulus barely noticed it. He was scared, so, so scared, sick to his stomach with terror. When he'd last left Sirius, his brother was crying, broken down by the pain from the curses he'd used. If he didn't want to even talk to him, Regulus couldn't blame him. There was guilt rolling in waves along his stomach. For the entire week, he'd been pushing down his panic but the time had come now. He was going home.

He walked down the halls slowly, wishing that he didn't have to go home. He was dragging his trunk behind him as Regulus delayed himself as long as possible. It was inevitable yet Regulus wished he could avoid it. His feet dragged along the floor as he tried to breathe, trying to be in control of his panic. He was so broken inside, James had hurt him, he'd hurt Sirius, Sirius had hurt James. It was a lost cycle that Regulus couldn't stop.

So Regulus boarded the train with his housemates and sat down, staring at the window while hardening his heart. He couldn't care about anyone else except himself and his brother. Anybody else was in the way and he couldn't let them stop him.

"Did you break it off?" Remus asked, cautiously, the three marauders now in the safety of their own compartment.

James nodded, his face completely blank. With Remus's words, his lip trembled and tears filled his eyes, stinging and burning as he fought to stop them from falling down his face. In his hands, he held a thin, silver necklace. Regulus's Christmas present. Well, it was supposed to be his Christmas present, but they'd fell apart before James could give it to him.

"How did he take it?" Remus asked again, trying to be kind although he was clearly upset.

This time, the tears gently rolled down James's face as he shook his head. He couldn't speak as he wiped them away, trying to stop them. His lip quivered and couldn't speak.

"James," Remus said gently and at the words, his heart shattered and he broke down, unable to hold back any longer.

Tears were falling and he let out a small sob of pain because his heart hurt too much to handle. It was breaking into pieces and he couldn't hold his tears back any longer. It hurt more than James knew it was possible to hurt. Remus was staring at him, not knowing how to react. He knew it was his fault, but he also was just trying to protect his best friend. He wanted to cry over Regulus. He wanted to take care of Remus. He wanted to do too much at once. A broken whimper tore its way from the lump in his throat as he cried, wiping away tears of pain.

"Oh, James." Peter said gently.

He walked over and sat next to James, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't know what's happening, and truly, I don't really care. I just don't see why you would break it off if you love this bloke."

"It's not him. It's not me. It's something else." James cried.

"Then why would you let something break your love?" Peter pointed out. "Do you love him? Truly love him?"

James nodded, sniffing as he wiped away another tear.

"Then go to him. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. If it's love, then it's love. Tell him that. Let the world see that love."

"Pete, you don't understand." Remus said, his voice cold. "You don't get it. Leave it alone. Just shut up and leave it alone."

"I understand that James was in love but once you found out, you told him to break it off. I don't know why, but just because your heart was broken, doesn't mean James can't fall in love." Peter snapped back.