Convergent Love

Chapter 18: Numb

I walked down the beach and stood with my feet in the water, watching the waves. I took in the cool sea breeze and tried to clear my mind. I then found a spot under a palm tree to sit, and I called Malia. I explained everything I'd discovered: the obituaries and headstone as well as the flashback of his death.

"Wow, that's a lot to take in. Are you okay? Do you need me to come and meet you?"

"Thanks, but I'd rather be alone right now. It's so strange. I feel numb all over. It's like I'm mourning his death for the first time," I tried to explain.

"Well, if you ever need me, just call. I'm always here for you."

"Thanks Malia, I know you are, and I really appreciate it. I promise to check in with you later."

Like all the previous flashbacks, this one felt so real - our conversation, the grief, and especially holding him as he passed away. It was emotionally overwhelming. Remembering that day made my chest hurt, and I started to weep again. I told myself to let the walls down and allow myself to grieve. I decided not to share what I'd discovered with Yoongi just yet; I'd wait until he returned on Sunday.

I left the beach and stopped at a florist to buy a bouquet of lavender flowers. I brought it back to the cemetery and placed the flowers on Yoongi's grave. With tears in my eyes, I kissed my fingers, touched his headstone, and told him I loved him. I walked away with heavy steps and my heart in pieces.

When I got to my mom's house, I went straight to my room. I didn't feel like socializing and told her I had a headache and needed to take a nap. At least the headache part was true. I was so drained and emotionally wiped that it didn't take me long to fall asleep.

I woke up to my cell phone ringing. It was Hoseok.

"Hi, Sunshine! Did I wake you?" he asked.

"Yes, but it's okay. I had to get up anyway."

"We're in Lahaina waiting for a table for dinner. I was watching the sunset and thought of you."

"Oh, that's sweet. Are you guys having a good time?"

"Yes, we are. After we landed, we had lunch, then drove along the coast of Kihei. We also stopped at the beach for a bit to put our feet in the water. We'll check into the hotel after dinner."

"Sounds fun. Make sure to get some 'guri guri' ice cream in Kahului," I suggested. "It's very good."

"Okay, sure thing. Looks like our table is ready. I'll give you a call later. Love you!"

"Love you, too."

I stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling. I had two more days to try and make sense of this before they returned. How do I even begin to process the feelings and memories from both the past and the present? Faith and destiny had a really strange sense of humor, putting Yoongi, Hoseok and me in this bizarre situation. You would think they'd guide me toward one of them, but they seemed to push me equally to both.

I went to see if my mom needed help with dinner. She was happy to have me home and in the kitchen with her again. It was just going to be the two of us for dinner because my sister had to work.

Over dinner, we got on the topic of love and relationships.

"Mom, how did you know dad was 'the one'?" I asked.

"Well, I think it was when I knew I didn't want to move forward in life without him," she replied.

"Did you see yourselves as soulmates?"

"Hmm, yes, I would say we were soulmates. But soulmates can be different things. You can be a soulmate with a friend or with a significant other. To me, soulmates are those individuals you were destined to be with throughout your lifetime. So, it could be just one person or a special group of people. You can find them at different points in your life."