An Email a Day (Andy Barber)

Chapter 1 - Andy

If I thought coming back to Mexico for New Years was a good idea when I booked it, then I must have been drunk outta my mind - because although it's been a relaxing couple of weeks, I'm now sat here in the bar on New Years listening to a very very drunk guy singing 'Tequila' on karaoke.

Wow...

Hey, at least I'm outta here tomorrow. I thought coming back would heal the last of the open wounds that Laurie and Jake had left behind on me. The last proper holiday as a family - sure it kinda turned into a nightmare but it was times before that, that I want to remember. It's been two years, now technically going into the third after tonight, and only now am I learning to move on and to hopefully be a little kinder to myself.

I take another sip of my wine in the hopes that karaoke guy will stop, even though the song is just one word. It's still painful as hell to watch. I look around at the other holidaymakers that have filled the bar to celebrate and see in the New Year. They're all having a good time, laughing, drinking, cheering Tequila guy on. I know really I should be too, but to me this is just another night.

I'm alone, no one here to celebrate with, although I'm not exactly in a celebratory mood. I never am now. It just means another year has passed without my son. As for Laurie? Well...that fucking stings.

Thank god, Tequila guy has stumbled away from the microphone and now has been replaced by some Enrique Inglesias song while the DJ is busy preparing more songs for the next people who are wanting to sing their drunken little hearts out. I swivel around on my stool at the bar to nurse my drink a little more. I should be cutting back, and I have - now only drinking on occasions like this, whereas after Jake and Laurie died I was all but putting it away until I passed out, hoping that I'd never wake up.

Some days I still wish that I don't, but let's face it, I'm gonna be in therapy probably for the rest of my life, so I may as well humour the woman who has to sit and listen to me drone on about the same old shit each week.

My eyes flicker up from looking at the dwindling contents of my glass and find a woman on the other side of the bar. She's alone too, quietly drinking some cocktail with a little umbrella. Her skin has been tanned by the Mexican sun and her honey blonde hair frames her face in beachy waves. I look around for any signs of a boyfriend or partner but she's alone.

Ditto.

I finish my wine and order a beer. The karaoke has started up again and now I look over to cocktail girl I see she's looking at me. She rolls her eyes and smiles, gesturing to the guy murdering another classic. I smile and shake my head in a mixture of agreement and disbelief.

Yep, seems we both think he sucks.

What the hell, I may as well join her if she will let me - at least then we both won't look miserable just knocking back the alcohol alone.

Getting up, I round the bar and slip onto the stool next to her. "Twenty bucks says this one is gonna pass out right after finishing the song". I smirk.

She looks at me and laughs. "Keep your money, it'll be useless where I'm from" and then she introduces herself. "I'm Delilah".

British. It's clear from her accent.

"Andy", I tell her and give her hand a shake. "Here alone?"

"However did you guess?" She muses and sips her cocktail, "And I'm guessing you are too?"

I nod. "Thought a holiday watching drink guys kill classics was the ultimate New Years".

"You're right, it's bloody awful". She grins and turns her body on her stool to give me her full attention. "How long have you spent here?"

"Last couple of weeks, come out here with my wife and son a few years ago, now it's just me..." I shrug, "As it happens, it probably wasn't the best idea to comeback and see whether it could help".

Delilah smiles weakly. "If it's any consolation, this was meant to be my holiday last year - and then my husband decided to die so it all went out the window".

"Geez, I'm sorry".

"It's ok, I was prepared in some sort of way - it was the big 'C'. Couldn't really do anything about it by the time he was diagnosed, so he told me to move the holiday to another date and just enjoy myself once he was gone. Didn't take long for him to leave, and I couldn't exactly enjoy myself - in truth I haven't all, I don't really know why I came in the first place..." She falls quiet and then turns away briefly to probably compose herself. "Sorry, I'm just droning on about my problems..."

I brush it off. "Fellow widower right here" I hold up my hand to signal that it's indeed me who is that.

"Shit. Really?"

"My 'wonderful' and mentally unstable wife drove herself and our kid into the side of a damn tunnel, they had no chance". I say with a mix of bitterness, sarcasm and anger. I don't really care who I tell now. It's the truth.

Her face falls. "I am...so, so sorry...how long?" She now asks of how long they've been gone.

"Going into the third year in..." I check my watch, "Two hours".

"How old was your son?" She asks quietly and then shakes her head. "Sorry, I shouldn't ask".

I smile back through the slight pain I feel stabbing at me whenever I talk about Jacob. "Fifteen..."

She bows her head and shakes it. "That's not right...It shouldn't be like that"

"I know, I'd trade places with him in a heartbeat".

I would. Anything to have Jake back again.

The awful singing makes us turn to look at where it's coming from and then Delilah and I both look at one another. "Fuck this, you wanna get a bottle of wine and go drink our sad lives away on the beach?" I suggest.

She looks at me, seriously contemplating it and then nodding. "Better than listening to this".

We go halves on the bottle and then make for the beach, away from the noise of the bar and down onto the sand. It's dark and I can just about make out the waves crashing in while we sit further up and away from them.

At least I'm not gonna be seeing the New Year in alone and as it's my last night here before I return to Colorado, I was planning on drinking to forget, but perhaps just talking to Delilah could be the distraction that I need - just for tonight.