An Email a Day (Andy Barber)

Chapter 17 - Delilah

Hey,

Did you tell Victoria everything? If you did I hope she understood. Deli x

I message Andy as I'm settled in bed and patiently await his response. It comes some time later, but I'm glad he hasn't just ditched me for this Victoria girl just yet.

Hey - told her everything. She already knew so that made it a lot easier. Andy

What. The. Fuck.

That screams red flag right there to me. She already knew? Did she fucking Google him or something? It seems the obvious answer given that his case was all over the news.

Wait, wtf? She already knew? How? Deli x

She found some articles online. Bound to happen. Andy

"Yeah, only if you're a fucking stalker" I say to myself out loud and then stop myself. "No Deli, I'm sure she's a very nice girl, and was just checking to make sure he wasn't a mass murderer before making her move...with her law degree and perfect face..." I mutter bitterly because I can and message him back.

Sounds a little suss? Deli

She didn't wanna bring it up until later. She knew I lost Laurie and Jake, but didn't wanna push me into telling her. Andy

What a saint she must be.

Well, that's a good thing then. So you two all official and stuff now? Don't you guys do it by bases or something out there? First base, second base? 😏

Only if you're in high school 😂 Kinda feels that way though. Y'know when you just get into the new relationship and you're together all the time and stuff.

Yeah...yeah I know.

I wouldn't stand a chance against a girl like Victoria even if I wanted to. I mean how do I compete with that?

I can't.

I never have when it's come to guys. I've always been the one they didn't notice.

Only Will did...

I feel the tears prick the back of my eyes as I just wish that he was here. At least then I wouldn't be sat here in bed alone every night with only the Amazon Alexa to talk to.

At least Will took a chance on me...

Kinda forgot about those days...was a while ago. Deli

Shit Deli I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you if I just did. Andy.

I swallow and then type my response. You haven't upset me. And then hit him with the line that I know will put an end to this for me once and for all. I just know that I probably won't move on.

And there it is. The biggest lie I have told to date. I can move on, and I will eventually but I can't let him know that. I can't let him know that I like him the way I do. It'd be damn awkward. So here I am, telling him this so that for my peace of mind I can drum it into myself and spend the rest of my days alone.

It's gonna happen anyway. It took me ages to find Will and now he's gone? Guess I just have to learn to navigate by myself once more.

You will Deli. You'll find someone who deserves you just as much as you do them.

Maybe. I'm not ready though. Not yet.

Another flat out lie.

It's not like I will forget Will, because that will never happen. He's always a part of me. But life goes on, and the only way I can function is by now looking out for me.

You'll know when you are - trust me

You seem like you finally are. I'm happy for you Andy, really I am. I just hope that she treats you the way you should have been treated in the first. Then again I suppose given that she's accepted your past it's a great start. You deserve that much.

Yeah...you and me both...can I call you tomorrow?

I bite my lip and then reply. Course you can, I'm here any time remember? Also if you wanna back out of being my plus one to Abi's wedding in December then I understand.

What? No way, I keep my promises. I'm saving you from both the singles and kids tables remember? Plus, it's gonna be good to see you again 😊

I smile to myself. At least I still have his backing for that. Same here, I have the invite right here so I'll screenshot it and send it to you. I type and then send the picture to him.

Awesome, I'll book it off tomorrow. Will let you know nearer the time about what flight I'm getting etc.

Maybe over the next few months my feelings will just fade. But I don't know how I'm going to feel when I finally see him again...