An Email a Day (Andy Barber)

Chapter 25 - Delilah

Christmas comes and goes the same as it has done since Will died.

Alone.

Abi and Ethan invited me over to spend it with them however I wasn't really full of Christmas cheer and declined. They headed off of on their honeymoon a few days before New Year.

I saw mine in by myself with a party pooper.

I text Andy of course, wishing him a Happy New Year and hoping that this one would be better than the last. He replied back wishing me that as well, asking whether I'd had a good Christmas.

I was alone I typed and then deleted it, instead writing, it was good, found a tiny Santa hat and put it on Will to make him a bit more festive. Nice day though, didn't burn my food which was another bonus.

Maybe I should've made more of an effort to tell him how I really feel, rather than just give him up. But I had to. It was a mistake and we both know that.

We just have fallen back into normality over the last few months, neither of us talking about what happened at the wedding, nor making any attempt to. I'm glad, it's not made everything awkward for us. He's happy and sounded it when we spoke earlier. He and Victoria have just come back from some romantic weekend getaway in some mountain cabin.

"Sounds amazing, Will would've probably spent the whole weekend trying to climb the mountain instead of spending it with me". I laugh 

"I mean, you could probably climb the mountain with him now".  He mirrors my dark humour

"He's pretty portable! So that's a plus!"

We roar with laughter and then calm down, "so have you decided on any wedding prep yet?" I ask.

"Not yet, well most of it Vic wants to do. I have no clue what I'm doing whatsoever".

I hear her in the background calling him and he looks over his shoulder and then back at me. "Better go, talk tomorrow". He grins.

"Have a nice niiiight". I smirk and we hang up.

I'm in the shop a couple of hours later putting together a bouquet when Andy's name pops up on Facetime. I answer and continue with the bouquet. "Thought you'd be in bed by now, what is it like 2am?" I say and then look at the screen, almost dropping my scissors as I see it's not Andy there. 

It's her...

"You must be Delilah..." Victoria now smiles tightly. "I'm Victoria". 

Ok...

Why the fuck is she facetiming me and from Andy's phone? 

"Erm...Hi, it's nice to finally meet you - Andy's told me a lot about you" I say and put the bouquet to one side. "Sorry, you just caught me at work".

"It's ok, I thought I might finally put the name to the face as he's not really said much about you, other than you're a friend" 

Already I don't like where this is going. "Let me guess, he doesn't know you're calling", and I prop the phone up, sitting down. "What do you want Victoria?" 

She doesn't hang about with her reply. "For you to stop contact, as hard as that may be for you. Andy's with me, we're getting married" and now holds up the ring. 

"Wait...you think I'm a threat?" 

"I'm asking you nicely just to leave him alone Delilah, he's a busy guy. Do you honestly think that he wants to talk to you eeeeeevry day about your little problems? He gets off the phone and I can tell he's just drained by it". She smiles kindly. "I just don't want him brought down by you, he's come so far after what happened". 

I nod slowly, "Tell me this, if Andy asked you to stop talking to a friend who is a guy, would you?" 

"This isn't about me." 

"Oh it bloody well is" I tell her sweetly. "You can't stand the fact that Andy has a friend who is a woman, and you're worried that it'll impact on you. Well if I were you I wouldn't worry, because its you he loves, he put a ring on your finger. Surely that should be enough confirmation for you?" 

Her expression darkens. "Do everyone a favour Delilah, and cut contact. All you're doing is wasting Andy's time. He doesn't think you're anything special, you're just a burden to him - surely you can be considerate and see that?". 

I don't even know what to say. The words just hit me

Am I burden though? Does he think that now? 

"Well if I am, then he can tell me himself. Not send a messenger" I tell her calmly. "You're a lucky girl Victoria, don't screw it up - I knew that Andy certainly won't". 

"If anyone is going to screw it up it's you continuously bombarding him with calls and messages. If you care about him that much, then you'll leave him be". 

I take a sip of tea and nod. "I think we've said all that we need to. It was lovely to meet you". I say with dignity still intact (somehow) and then end the facetime. My hands are shaking and I drop my cup of tea all over the shop floor. 

"Fuck!" I curse start picking up the pieces of china, hissing as a sharp part slices my hand. I watch as the blood begins to seep out. Right now it's the only thing that makes me know that I'm still alive, even if I don't feel it. 

I won't cry. 

It's not something worth crying over. 

But he is...