An Email a Day (Andy Barber)

Chapter 27 - Delilah

I don't hear from Andy after we talk. He doesn't call or text me to tell me how things ended up with Victoria and whenever I try to call it always tells me his phone is switched off. 

Let me know that you're ok. I'm worried. x  I message him and then put my phone on the side. It's almost midnight here and I ate my way through a tub of Ben and Jerry's while crying over Darcy and Elizabeth on the TV. 

I've always been a bit of a dreamer, even my parents have said so. I don't think it's a bad thing. It just unfortunately provided me with unrealistic expectations of men. 

If Will was here he'd tell me that it all works out for the best in the end. I know it does, but for him it didn't. I wonder whether he still believed that when they told him that there was nothing else that they could do. He never once showed me that he was scared. He just accepted that it was what it was and was more worried about me if anything. He got everything in order, made sure that I wasn't going to struggle.

 And I thank him for it. 

All the crying I've done tonight soon exhausts me and I drift off to sleep, then being woken by banging at the front door. 

Shit. Is the house on fire? Is someone else's house on fire? 

I don't see or smell smoke and see it's almost 4am. 

I hurry downstairs and look through the peephole, now throwing the door open as I see who is stood there. 

Andy. 

"What the..." 

I'm cut off as he grabs me and kisses me hard, my body melting into his. "What are you doing here?" I ask as I pull away. 

"I came to tell you that I was an idiot, and I'm sorry for everything...well, maybe not sleeping with you but for leaving after. I should've just told you how I felt, fought damn harder for you instead of lying to myself - and to you..." 

I smile and laugh a little. "You could've just called..." 

He shakes his head. "Deli...I wanted to tell you face to face. Not through facetime, or WhatsApp or even a damn email. I wanted to be here, with you. And I wanted to ask whether I had a chance, even after everything. Do I at least have a chance?" 

He's dropped everything. Travelled thousands of miles with just not even a damn bag just to ask me this. He's on my doorstep at 4am not caring whether he wakes anyone else in the village up. 

And after everything we've been through. He wants to know whether we have a chance at this, and the ball is in my court. 

I look at him, he looks tired, tormented and broken if I'm honest, and I wonder whether it's because I'm the cause of all that. 

He told me I'm not a burden, but perhaps I really am. 

I don't want to bring him down. He was already at the bottom and just beginning to rise when we first met, but did I help? I like to think I did. Can I help more? Maybe, but also maybe not. 

I can't keep him waiting any longer than he already has been and now as I stand here with him I  give him my answer...