Only For You

III) Marion: High Fly

I hurried and packed up all my necessary things and threw them in my military duffle. My flight bag sat on my small desk. Since I was already living in the base's living quarters I didn't have to travel far. Maybe this was finally time to escape, however that was a pitiful idea. I would get killed. That was always an idea that sat in the back of my mind. Then there was always that question of 'will it be worth it?' Some part of me nudged towards completing the escape, but the other part nudged me away from it. This sort of battle with myself was not ending well. I fought my thoughts no matter how good or bad they were. It seemed as if there was a war going on with myself all at the same time.

I walked out on the apron and noticed about 5/6ths of the planes were gone. I was the last unit to be deployed out of the 1000 men out of here. I was the only woman pilot in one thousand miles, so they thought it would be cool to put me on reserve. Well, no I'm not on reserve. I'm fighting in the frontlines. They're calling this operation high fly due to how high we actually have to fly over the European Union to get to the opposing countries. This just makes me sick. I have never had to execute a plan this horrific. No one even confirmed or denied whether or not this plan would work or not. Already 150,000 American soldiers have died, which is staggering this early on in a war.. America is not doing anything about it either, nor does it seem like they care. It seems like no one has remorse for anything these days. It seems like I am the only one that has feelings and emotions.

I ran to the plane I was supposed to be flying and I did a walk check. As a required task by the pilots it is highly important to get it right. The plane appeared to be fine, so I put my gear inside it. I made sure to lock the door, then I walked to the cafeteria for breakfast. As I was walking I could feel and hear my stomach growling. Military food isn't necessarily the best in the world. A nice home cooked meal would be so much better -trust me. Upon walking in I noticed that they were training new cadets. There is a shortage of people to fight and that is willing to fight. I'm not willing to fight, but I'll still fly and deter targets. I sat down and ate my food in about five minutes. They provided some ham, toast, and fruit. I was elated to finally be able to consume some fruit due to the fact that it was something I missed deeply. Oh my, did it taste like heaven. The food here is awful, trust me. I sat alone in the corner and pondered about what might happen. Whilst In the middle of my 'study' I heard a voice, "Hey Lieutenant." The voice was right next to me. "Mind if I sit here?" He asked.

I looked up and it was Lieutenant Anderson. "Yes, absolutely. In fact, be my guest." I smiled as he laughed at my statement. He had already finished his food as well, so we just sat there for a moment staring at each other. "So... what's next?" My emerald green eyes wandered the old and worn building. The paint was chipping off each table and chair. It was only obvious that people had been in and out of this building. Who knows when it was built. The cafe reminded me of a place I went to in downtown Manhattan once. It was not exactly the most fragrant of places or the most upkept, but it sure was nice to take a seat.

He began to ramble off into a trance, "I don't know. Something bad will happen." The sun shone through the windows into his eyes. "Anyways... I got this for you. It was actually my sister's. She died two weeks ago from bullet wound complications. She bled out and it was horrific. What a shame because she was a good girl, and I had to witness the whole thing. Talk about counseling, yes, counseling I cannot get because we are in the middle of a die hard freaking war." He handed me a necklace that had a little flower pendant with a pearl attached to it. I'd assume that it was pure gold and silver. He pulled my hair away from my neck. His frigid hands wrapped the chain around and carefully clasped it around my neck. Anderson put my hair back over my shoulders and left a kiss on my forehead.

I blushed a little. "Gosh, that is so pretty." I muttered as I eyed the pendant. "Don't you have someone else to give this to though?" I was trying to justify why he would give this to me out of all people. Maybe it had a part with how I didn't feel worthy enough for the beautiful piece of jewelry. I guess he was just a genuine person that cared, and maybe I needed to recognize that. He thought for a moment and while he did that I just stared off at him. Was this the first guy -person- that actually cared for me? Yes.

"No, I don't have anyone else to give it to. You're the first girl that..." I could tell he was struggling to find words. Just the way his demeanor changed in a matter of seconds proved to me that there was something deeper going on. He was looking down at his fingers and playing around with the watch he wore on his wrist. The uniform made his eyes stand out in the sun. "I'm so sorry." He apologized. "It's just that my mother died when I was 15 and my sister just died. I watched it happen, her bleeding everywhere. I have no one beside, well, you."

I looked down at my watch that I wore around my wrist. It is a Jaeger-LeCoultre watch. I know, that's pretty expensive for a Lieutenant to be wearing in the middle of a war. The point is that I wear it everyday because it was my father's watch. Plus, it's the only one I got. The watch was made in Switzerland, which makes it even better. "Right. I understand and I appreciate the thoughts. I love the necklace." I paused to formulate the question I was going to ask him. "What were you going to say before all that? I'm the first girl that..." I figured that digging for a little more information would not hurt at all. After all, I wanted to know... I wanted to know so bad too.

He hung his head in shame knowing what I wanted to know. "I'm so sorry. It's just... you're the first girl that I've... never mind. It's just I've never felt this way before, but I like you. I know we just met yesterday and what not, but I just really like you." He tapped his fingers around on the wooden table. They were cheap wooden tables so the paint would chip off. "Gosh, that was blunt. I'm sorry, but... I will probably end up dying soon because I will be at the frontlines, but that's the general feeling I wanted to get off my shoulders." He was finally able to meet my eyes.

I let out a sigh. "It's fine. You shouldn't have shame in that at all. It's more than alright. Lieutenant, I ugh... I can say the same for you too." I smiled as I found myself looking at the necklace. "You won't die. Don't worry. I felt like I was filling him with false hopes.

He looked down at the other end of the cafeteria. "When all is said and done I will come back and look for you, okay? I will find you." The moment he said that my heart started to pound. I've always had that feeling that someone is there for me on the other side of the world, and don't have a feeling of confirmation with Lieutenant Anderson. "If I die will you do something for me?" He asked in a hushed tone. His voice almost reminded me of my flight instructor I had right before I got my CFI license.

I bit my bottom lip, "sure. I mean, I hope none of us die. I'm sure that everything will work out and be alright." When I looked out the window I saw the new cadets doing drills. Those poor cadets have to do that. The drill sergeant here seems like a real jerk of a person. He's one of those people who claim to know everything. If one person doesn't obey, the whole group starts over. That drill sergeant has a whole new definition of 'whip into shape.' The men were struggling to do one more pushup. However, one more pushup turned to twenty five. That soon turned to fifty, and so forth.

"If I die will you wear the necklace everyday? Will you keep it forever?" He asked. Lieutenant seemed sad, so of course I confirmed what he wanted. I was planning on wearing the necklace everyday anyways. We had to leave the cafeteria and say our final goodbyes. Who knows where we will be off to now. I often wonder when I will meet the angel of death myself. I felt bad for him, Lieutenant Anderson. He gave me a hug and stared one more time into both my eyes and at the necklace. He kissed my small hand, turned the other way, and left. Who knows what that poor guy was thinking. I have to admit that I felt so bad.

Now that that's said and done, it's time to be tough. In the military they don't take any sort of crap. As soon as the time narrowed down I went back to the commander's office. There were about thirty guys there. With me, that would make a 31. Some of the guys laughed and mocked me because I was a woman that flies planes. I just laugh with them and brush it off. It never really offended me because I know what I'm getting into. I stood next to one Lieutenant that had brunette hair. He looked familiar, but I couldn't pick him out.

After the vociferous yelling from the commander and general, we were able to load up the planes. I placed my flight gear inside the jet. I stopped dead in my tracks when a guy called my name. "Lieutenant Wright!" I turned my head around only to see officer Anderson standing there. I gave him a smile and a salute. Starting up the plane sent shivers down my spine... just like the throttle increasing airspeed, my serotonin levels went up.