My Brothers And I (SanSiVin)

Prologue

"Always remember that we shall be your protectors since we are your brothers."

There's a story that I need to tell. Storms begin, and I'm climbing mountains. These are the times I'm left in thickets and thorn bushes, bruised and broken, scraped and scarred. I feel alone in these moments.

"Nasan na kayo?" tanong ko sa kawalan. I need all of you kuyas.

Iyak lang ako ng iyak dito while driving hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Sobrang bigat ng nararamdaman ko ngayon. My mind is noisy but my heart is empty. 

Everything seemed to be so complicated to understand. I have a lot of things going through my head, but I don't want to be heard because I'm afraid they won't understand.

At first, I'm in denial. I think, "I can't be sinking again. I've worked so hard to be happy. I know how to be happy. My mind knows how to work properly. I'll be okay." But I'm not. I feel, the more I isolate myself. It doesn't make sense, I know. But this sadness leaves me drained.

I feel sorry to my parents if I failed as their daughter, and I also apologize to my brothers if you do not have a fearless sister the same as the 3 of you. It's kinda hard being me.

It's hard for me when I get to this point.  It's not your fault, it's just... I just can't fight anymore.. I'm so sorry that I will leave you guys but I'm happy to be part of this family. I'm sorry. It's not me. It's the monster that's consumed me.

My phone ring... Kuya Sandro is calling.

I take a deep breath and I answered it. 

The first words he said "Sirene, where are you?" 

I also heard kuya Vincent asking if I already answered the call and I also heard my dad voice "Anak, go home please." 

I'm crying so hard and the only words came out to my mouth was "Kuya, I'm sorry. Daddy, I'm sorry... Mom I'm sorry..." and I heard mom said "No no darling please come back home everything will be okay." 

And Kuya Simon said "Please Sirene listen to kuya Si, please go home."

Iyak lang ako ng iyak and I also heard mom crying and begging me to come home. Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam nasan ako ngayon. "I'm so sorry..." and suddenly I saw bright lights and noisy horn. And everything blocked out. 

"NO! SIRENE PLEASE!"

"I know you're tired of fighting."