𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 | f. w

xliv. let me go

chapter forty-four
LET ME GO

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» » "WHAT ARE YOU doing here?", she asked, her voice shaking slightly from the terror of finding him standing so close to her. She could barely fathom the idea of what she was about to do, her heart broke at the mere thought, and yet there was no changing her mind this time. She had to do it, even though it would break away at her soul to see his smile faulting as she did.

She knew he would not let her go lightly, he would probably fight to convince her to let him stay, and that would likely make it even harder for the both of them. Because it meant his feelings were as deep rooted as hers, that he loved her as she loved him.

If only it was that simple.

Fred walked slowly towards the hospital bed where Edith was sat, anxiously fumbling with the end of his dress shirt.

"I needed to see you. I've been to see you—several times." Silence filled the room as he breathed a deep sigh. He didn't know what to say to her other than to try and convince her to let him in. To talk to him. To share in her burdens. He wanted to take some of it for himself, to help her carry it all. "What are you doing Edith? Why do you keep hurting yourself like this? Talk to me, please."

A single tear slipped down the boys' freckled cheek, and for once, he didn't care about wiping it away before she saw it.

Edith pulled away at first when he went to grab at her hand, only to grab it firmly after a few seconds. His skin against hers felt warm, smooth and comforting. She found herself wondering what life would look like if she didn't do this, if she decided to give the rest of the world the finger and embrace him as she once had. If she changed her mind, let him stay, pulled him towards her to never let him go.

But no, it simply couldn't be. There was no doubt about it; it was what had to be in order for the both of them to finally be at peace.

"I've loved you since I was eleven." Edith let out an exasperated sigh, finally ready to confess it all to the boy she's known more than half her life. "Even when I was cross with you or—or when we fought, I still loved you as I've always have. Even when I left you, when I was foolish enough to have the best thing I've ever known slip from my grasp, I was still madly in love with you. You are the single most important person in my life, you always have been. You're compassionate, brave, kind, loving, smart, and beautiful in every way, and wouldn't have made it this far if it wasn't for you being there to hold my hand through it all." Her eyes pooled up with tears, her whole body aching from the premature loss she was experiencing. "I love you so fucking much, Fred Weasley. So much in fact, that it's tearing my heart asunder by saying what I'm about to. But I have to—I have to, because if I don't, I'll only make things harder for you down the line. If I let you stay, this will all become so much harder in the end. You know it will."

Fred sniffled, dragging his hand through his ginger locks before placing himself on the chair just by the bed. He was still holding a firm grasp on the girl's hand, never wanting to let it go, but knowing he was just minutes away from being forced to do so.

"You've got it all wrong, my love. We can make this work, I know we can. It doesn't have to be this way. You know it doesn't."

"No—just—listen. I'm not right for you. I-if we keep up whatever it is we're doing, we're only going to end up heartbroken in the end, even worse than we are now, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I did that to you. You need to let me go, just as I need to let you go. I love you Fred, but I'm not about to subject you to a life with me. Not when I'm barely living it myself."