𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 | f. w

xlvi. never let you go

chapter forty-six
NEVER LET YOU GO

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This chapter mentions suicide and depression. Please read with caution.

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» » REHAB WASN'T AT ALL what they made it out to be. I think, for at least a little while, I had fooled myself into believing that I would stay here forever, that it was some sort of end destination and that I would never truly get better. I came here, thinking I would never leave, that there was no way I was ever going to get better. Because I was crazy. Depressed. Suicidal. And that's all I was ever going to be.

But I don't believe that anymore. 

I realise now, that I amount to so much more than what I used to believe. I'm so much more than my depression, so much more than my fucked up family history, and I know that now.

I'm Edith Harlowe Gannon. And it's about time I reclaim that persona. It's time I find my way back again.

"You ready to head out?"

His voice always seems to bring me right back to home, to that feeling of belonging. He's my anchor, my ball and chain, and he makes life worth living. In a way, I guess he saved me. He saved me from myself. From not ever finding my way back to who I used to be.

Through it all, he never once stopped believing in me, loving me, and for that, I'll never be able to pay him back.

"No. But maybe I never will be, and that's okay." I smile sadly, grabbing the keys off the ottoman before taking Fred's hand and leaving the flat we just bought for ourselves. It's a nice, quite spacious one bedroom flat, with a medium sized kitchen overlooking south of London. It's cute, homely, and it's all we could possibly need in a place of our own.

After everything that's happened, we decided to keep the flat upstairs from the shop, but instead of continuing living there, we made it into a storage unit/office space. I guess we both needed a fresh start, and even though we'll never be able to forget George Fabian Weasley, we both needed to stop living in the past the way we had been doing. It wasn't healthy, and we finally realised that.

"You're amazing, you know that right?", he squeezes my hand, pressing a light kiss to my mouth. "She would've been so proud of you."

"He would've been so proud of you too."

✦✧✦

Marlena Calderon died on a warm summers eve in the year 2003 by suicide. She was twenty-one. She left no immediate family behind, the only one she truly cared for and who truly cared for her being a twenty-five year old girl named Edith, whom Lena had befriended while in the psychiatric ward of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. The girl lost her battle to depression and addiction after years of fighting to get better, and although she had no close family at the time of her death, she would me gravely missed by the one friend she made at the hospital.

The funeral was held in a small church not too far from where she had succumbed to her illness.

"Thank you. For all you did for me. I can't thank you enough." Edith exhaled, tasting the salt of her tears that ran down her cheeks as she placed a single white rose onto the casket. "You really were a good friend, and I wouldn't be here without you. I'm sorry you had to leave so soon, but I promise, we'll see each other again some day. Until then—take care of my parents for me. I know they might not deserve it, but I'd like to think they're finally at peace wherever they are."