Lost finding yourself

Chapter 10: Mistakes

"And you expect me to trust her again? She put me in the hospital, remember? How could you even be friends with her?"

"She herself did not put you in the hospital, that was Bird Shit Bridgette, remember?"

"Still she was apart of it. Candy and the rest of them did just as much as she did." I was annoyed of having this argument with Sam so I decided to just walk off to my last class of the day. I walk into math and sit next to my friend Cory. "Hey Koiy." He said in a mocking girl voice. "Hello Cory, how is your day going so far?" I pulled out my math book and notebook and turned to a clean page. "It's going. How is yours?" He responses while copying the notes on the board. "Shitty, as always." Cory opens his mouth like he is gonna say something, but is interrupted by our teacher.

As the end of the period comes I say bye to Cory and walk out the door. I meet up with D.J at his car and we pull out of the parking lot. "Hey baby." He says as he is fiddling with his seatbelt while driving. "Hey babe. Have a good day?" D.J clips his belt and looks over at me. "It was alright, could of been better, but it was alright." We drive down the same old road to his house and pull in. When we pull into the driveway I was shocked when I saw my mom's car in their driveway. "D.J?" I whisper. "Yeah Koi?" He whispers back. "What's going on?" D.J shrugs his shoulders and gets out. "You comin?" He opens my side door. I step out of the car and slowly walk to the front door.

As we open the front door my mom and his mom are sitting on the couch, sharing a conversation over a cup of coffee. "Mom?" I ask as I walk in. My mom stands up and walks over to me. She wraps her arms around me. "Hello Sequoia. I've missed you hunny." She lets go of me and looks at me, expecting me to say 'I've missed you too.' I put my bag down and look over at my mom and then at D.J's mom. "Same here mom. Why are you here? Not saying I don't want you here, but why are you here?" I walk over to the couch and sit next to Sandy. "Because Sequoia, I've came to say I was sorry. I'm miserable without you being home. I know you didn't kill your brother sweetie. I know it wasn't your fault, and I just want you to come home. Things have changed now. Plus Sequoia bun-bun and Bert miss you." I stare at my mom while I think of what to say.

"It's not the easiest decision mom. You don't get how much Danny dieing fucked me up mom. It fucked me up." She looks at me with depression and I hate when my mom looks that way. "Sweetie, I know. I do understand how crazy and insane it made you, because it made me the same exact way. Except you handled it better, a lot better honestly. You didn't attempt to drink away all your problems." I feel as if I should go, but the decision rips me apart. What if things haven't changed? What if everything is still the same and she's just putting on a show for Sandy? So many what if's.

"Look mom, give me a few days to think about it alright?" I give her a hug and head down the hall to D.J's room. I faceplant onto D.J's bed and just lay there. "That was a handfull to deal with." D.J says entering the room with a soda. "Tell me about it." I say sarcastically. "I just don't wanna go back and have everything still the same." I get up from his bed and join him on the floor in a beanbag. "I understand baby, you're always welcome here and you know that." I smile, "Thanks, could I talk to you about something?" That question always makes him nervous. "Anything."

"Ok, well, hm, Sam thinks it's ok that she's friends with Bird Shit Bridgette and all her friends still."

"Why is it not?"

"If you do not remember, they made me wanna kill myself.."

"No, I remember. Anyways, are you jealous?"

I start to laugh, "Jealous? Me? Ha. I could give a shit less if they all wanna be up each other's asses all day."

"Koi, you're jealous."