Jujutsu Kaisen x reader

Yuta Okkustu X reader Pt.2

Warning: angst 

"Best friends don't act like we do, okay? You don't see me doodling on inumaki's hand when I'm bored and I don't see you wearing Maki's sweatshirts because you "like the scent." Best friends don't get in trouble in class because they were giving each other lingering gazes from across the room. Best friends don't go on giggly late nights adventures around the city to get the specific kind of gum you like, or spend Saturdays together in their pajamas, your pajamas being my old T-shirt, by the way. Best friends don't treat each other the way we treat each other."

"I." You began. " I don't know what to say." You said, feeling defeated. You felt like you'd said enough.

"Say you love me." Yuta pleaded in a pained whisper. He took a cautious but hopeful step towards you.

" Yuta." You took a small step closer to him, closing the gap between you and placed your hand on his cheek. He leaned into your touch. A hopeful expression lit up his soft features.

"I do love you. More than anything this world has to offer. But I meant what I said. You're my best friend. And maybe you're right. Maybe we are meant to be. But this is all very sudden. I don't want to rush into a relationship and risk ruining the one we already have. I care about you too much to do that. It's better this way. What if we didn't work out? Or if we found out we were better as friends? You can't go from lovers to friends without it being awkward. And what if we had a horrible breakup? Wouldn't you rather be friends forever than boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months?" You asked, your eyes pleading with him to accept your statement and move past this terrible morning.

"I know it could ruin our friendship, and I care about that too. But I love you so much that I'm willing to risk it. I believe this is worth it. You're worth it." Yuta tried one last time. You bit your quivering lip and looked anywhere but his eyes.

"But what if the risk doesn't pay off? We could end up hating each other." You whispered.

"I could never hate you." Yuta promised.

"Maybe you'd find out that you could." You finally looked in his eyes. His red, puffy eyes. All because of you. "Or I could hate you. I never want things to be awkward between us, Yuta. I never wanted things to change. Now they are, and I...I don't know how I feel. I'm sorry. I just need time to think. Could you just give me some space for a while?"

Yuta wrapped his hand around your wrist and kissed the palm that was on his cheek. You felt a spark from where he kissed that lit up your whole body and caused you to shiver.

"I understand. I'm sorry. About everything. Take all the time you need." Yuta said. He slipped out your window and back into his own apartment.

You waited until Yuta left for school before you made your way to the lobby. While you waited, you had a good cry. A cry for the loss of your friendship with Yuta Okkotsu. Even if you guys made up, things would never be the same. You could never lie in his bed or wear his shirt without knowing his romantic intentions. After calming down and fixing your makeup, you decided it was time to go. For the first time ever, you walked to school without Yuta. Even on days when one of you was sick, you'd FaceTime each other and chat along the way. You walked in silence and thought about your situation.

Did you love Yuta?

Yes, you did.

But did you love Yuta the way he loved you?

You didn't know.

The silent walk made you feel uneasy. You hated fighting with Yuta. You hated when he was upset, especially if you were the one who caused it. You walked faster and got to school earlier than usual. Yuta wasn't waiting at your locker like he usually was. You quickly decided you hated space from Yuta.