Fighting For Eachother

party

It's been few minutes since I got here. And firstly what I did, before I got in the street even, was securing my drugs. My underpants securing them. Lmao! What?! I don't want the drugs to fall and someone else can have it!

But yeah, that was before I got in.

Now I'm in, logically, and it's okay so far. The house is full of lights that are changing through time. They are many people. Also many alcohol.

I don't see anyone with weed tho. So I got to ✨ alcohol area ✨

There's Vodka, Jack Daniels, beers, stuff to do cocktails with ,etc.

I got myself Jack Daniels and started party with that

After some cups, it didn't effect me much beacuse I came with the realisation of how fucked up and shitty my life is.

I didn't think about my life that much before, but now I just have some moments where realisation hit me.

I'm fighting all this alone.  Abuse, beatings, hospitals .. I can imagine someone having love of their life with situations Like this. But I don't. I have no one.

And I don't need anyone. I don't need anyone beacuse I remember times I woke up alone in hospital beds panicking of what happened and what will happen. I had no one to look at me, hold my hand, tell me that I'll survive. No-one.

You can't understand. You can't. It's really really hard. God, times when I tried to kill myself but eventually woke up. You don't understand how hard that is. Times I overdose myself but I'm still.here. You don't understand.

I just want to die already, please please please God. If your there, take me. Take me already. Please. I'm begging you. Please. Please.

I got Jack Daniels in my hand and show it into my mouth. Drinking it like it's- omg tequila. Where is tequila.

I put half drinken Jack Daniels back and searched until... jackpot

I knew they would have it. I drinken tequila and I swear I feel so fucking happy.

I keep drinking it until nothing came anymore. It's okay, I'm happy now. I just got some random bottle so I can have liquid in my mouth and throat. Ah.

I got out of the kitchen and got into crowd. Music was bouncing through speakers so load and so good

I didn't carried for a few moments, alcohol got me. I was jumping with crowd and had fun.

Until,

I felt somebody press behind me.
I could tell it was a man.

And here comes the flashbacks..
First flashback:

For the first time, my parents are celebrating a birthday with me! Or that's because people are here... I think that is why they are celebrating with me. Mom told me that some very important people will come.

There's no kids.. That's- I don't know. I was never playing with someone. I guess it's okay then.

Dad and mom bringed a cake!! I don't know what does it say, but everybody was laughing.

Finally, they are happy too! I can't wait to eat the cake!!!!!!!!

My parents and I are living in small apartment. It's very dirty and it smells awful. But today, it was all clear.

Mom said that those people that came will bring us future. So they said that I need to be very good.

After some time :