Four Page Letters (TeacherxStudent)

Chapter 8

Charlotte

We made our way back towards the classroom. We stood outside the door and she gave my hand a slight squeeze before letting it go and opening the door. I found myself longing for her touch as soon as it went away. I stepped inside and went back to my seat and put my head down. I knew Mrs. Dandridge wanted to know what happened this morning. But I wasnt so sure I was ready to tell her. I don't know if im ready for the hell that would follow.

The bell soon rang and I lifted my head to see her walking to the door, saying her goodbyes to the students as they left. And all too soon, she stepped back into the classroom shutting the door behind her. She briefly glanced at me and I had to look away for a second. It was killing me that I allowed her to see me like this. I mean, I didnt wear skirts or anything like that but I always looked my best for her. And right now, I look like total shit. She sat behind her desk then looked over at the clock before meeting my gaze again. I could tell there were a million questions running through her head, but she didn't know what to ask first.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence she finally cleared her throat, "Why don't you come sit up here?" She said pointing to a desk in front of her. As if this conversation wouldn't be hard enough. But I grabbed my bag and went to sit in front of her. And then there was silence again. Almost as if she was afraid to ask me anything. So I decided to help her a little. "I'm not usually late." She giggled a little, and my heart melted. She was beautiful and her laugh was one in the same. "Ohh I know. You've always been on time but I'm guessing this morning was a little.. different?" She said as her smile disappeared and her demeanor shifted. Letting me know she was determined to get to the bottom of whatever took place.

"I guess you would be partially correct." I said, and by now she was removing the cardigan that was draped over her shoulders. My eyes watched her every move. Admiring her sunkissed skin. Wondering how is it possible that even her shoulders are attractive. Like is that even a thing? "Am I gonna have to put this back on?" She said raising the cardigan. I wasn't sure I heard her correctly because if I did, it would mean she caught me checking her out. And I couldn't tell if she was offended or not. So I said the only thing my brain could think of at the moment. "Huh?" She shook her head, a smirk playing on her lips, "Nothing." She placed the cardigan over the back of her chair before speaking again. "Charlotte, I first want to start by saying you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm not here to force you to talk to me. If there is something I could do to help, I would love to. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable, okay?" I nodded my head to let her know I understood. She looked over to the door, then back at me before she got up and locked it then came and sat in the desk next to mine.

"Do you mind if I just.." She brought her hand up to my face in effort to examine my eye. She tilted my head side to side. Obviously checking for any other bruises. She then reached for my wrist and examined it as well. "Are you in any pain?" She asked, to which I shook my head no. "Charlotte, What happened?" I remained silent. I have to weigh out my options here. I want nothing more than to open up and tell her everything that has caused pain in my life. And how the only happiness I find is seeing her at school everyday. Which is why I was never late. But technically, it's her job to report any abuse done to a student. Because after all, I am just her student. I don't know if I trust that she won't say anything. But the concerning look in her eyes has me ready to expose my soul. And I appreciate the fact that she cares enough to even have this conversation with me. I can at least allow her an inside look into my brokenness.

"Has this ever happened before?" She spoke again. "Yes." I simply said. "How many times?" I let out a sarcastic laugh, "One time is too many wouldn't you agree?" She looked as if she understood my point as she nodded, but I dont think she took to kindly to the sarcasm. "Sorry, I don't mean to be sarcastic, just a little nervous." I said as I played with my fingers. "You don't have to be nervous Charlotte. Like I said, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable around me." I gave her a small smile. "Who did this to your face honey?" I sighed deeply before looking at her. "My aunt. But Im fine really. Its not as bad as it looks." I tried to reassure her. "Why did she do this to you?" She asked. "Because she can."

"Charlotte, dont ever say that again. I dont care what relation she is to you, no one has the right to abuse a child. Or any one for that matter." I remained silent. Thinking to myself I should spare her the details of what I deal with on a daily basis. But I know that wouldn't satisfy her apparent need to know what happened. "Shes usually careful not to leave any visible marks, and it's usually not that bad. I just bruise easily but I'm okay. I shouldve just gave her what she wanted to begin with. I don't see her often, but when I do it happens." I saw her wondering, "I dont want to talk about it any more." I started to feel myself being overwhelmed by this conversation. It usually never bothers me, but the last thing I want is for anyone to pity me. She reached over and placed her hand on my thigh sending electric shocks throughout my body. "Okay. We don't have to talk about it anymore. But listen to me, if this ever happens again I need you to call me and I will come and get you. It doesn't matter the time, nor the place. Just please call me. I wont leave you in that situation. Promise me."

"I promise." I told her. She rubbed circles over my thigh for a moment, as I watched her hand before looking into her eyes. She must've realized what she was doing and she quickly retrieved her hand. She sat back in the desk and ran her hand through her long dark hair. "Can I ask one last question?" I nodded. "Do you live by yourself?" I nodded again. "How long have you been alone?" "I thought you said one last question?" I said raising my eyebrow. She put up her hands in defeat. I didn't want her to feel like I thought she was prying. In fact, I enjoyed having someone to listen to anything I had to say. "Two years." I said and she glanced back over to me. "My dad died two years ago. My mom died during child birth. My aunt was supposed to move in and take care of me but that never happened. She keeps the bills paid, sometimes she stocks the fridge but otherwise I'm alone." Her eyes began to water and I could tell she was processing all that I said. "You have me." She spoke so softly, I almost missed it. I felt my own eyes began to water as I looked into hers. "I'm here. And I'll always be here for however long you need me. I'll never leave you alone Charlie."

My eyes widened as that name rolled off her lips. Immediately I burst out in tears. I began sobbing so hard it became hard to breathe. She got up from the desk and came in front of me. Kneeling down as she grabbed my face with both hands. "Charlotte, I need you to breathe okay? You have to calm down love it's okay, just breathe." She started doing deep breathing techniques. Inhaling through her nose, out through her mouth. I followed her motions, and soon my breathing went back to normal. Once I calmed down, she wiped the remainder of tears from my eyes. Still kneeling in front of me she spoke, "What happened? Did I say something wrong?" She was searching my eyes and it was as if she was panicking. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to gather my thoughts.

"Charlie. Y-you called me Charlie." She looked so confused, so I continued. "My dad called me that. He was the only person that called me that." She nodded her head, "I'm sorry, I didn't— I just.. I don't know." She stood up and retreated back to the desk beside me. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry it just brought back some memories. I haven't been called that in a long time." I tried to offer her a smile to let her know I wasn't upset or anything. "Well, I won't call you that again if it bothers you." She said. "Umm.. its.. its okay. You can call me that. Just not around anyone. I don't want anyone else to think they can call me that." She smiled in return, "Okay. Deal!" For this first time in what seemed like an eternity we both glanced at the clock. Neither of noticing lunch had come and gone. And the last period had already began. She looked back over at me, "Would you like to stay with me the remainder of the day? Then if you'd like I can take you home like we planned?" I nodded.

She went back to her own desk and grabbed a worksheet. She brought it over and placed it on my desk. "This was the assignment today. You can work on it until we leave." I grabbed the paper and read over the prompt. We were to describe a time in our life where we may have felt defeated. Where we felt something was just too unattainable. Thats the thing with Mrs. Dandridge. She always wanted us to write about our feelings. I think she picked the wrong profession. She would make a great therapist or psychologist. She went back to her desk and began grading papers while I got started on the assignment. "Ohh, Mrs. Dandridge?" She looked up, "Good morning to you as well." I said. "This morning, I didnt get the chance to respond to your message." She hummed In response, "No worries. You'll be able to tell me good night later." I raised my eyebrow at her as I laughed. "I mean, because im taking you home later.. You know what I meant!" I simply nodded my head and went to work. Moments later, I looked up at her and she was still smiling.