Utaite One shots (Ships)

What is life? 02

Warning: Suicide thought, blood, self harm
Read at your own risk

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He wake up to the pitch black in front of him. Rubbing his eyes with one of his hand, pains sting him. Senra look down at the sources of his pain. Ah... yes. He cut himself earlier. Taking out the tissue on his dashboard, the blond pour some water from the bottle to wet it and wipe the wound. For now he will just do this and later he will wrap it in bandage. Noticing his phone light up, Senra grab it.

20 messages.

2 from Urata, 5 from Sakata, 10 from Shima and 1 from Sum.

"Hahaha... at least they care about me enough." A sad smile smudge on Senra's lips but he know they just pretending to do that. For the sake of the group after all. Someone like him can never be fitted into that.

Shaking his head out from any bad thought, Senra finally start the car. As expected from him, he replied to them first, telling them he already arrive home.

The drive feel a bit long and sometimes, devil whispered beside his ears to just rammed into another car and kill himself with car accident. He just cannot keep up his façade for too long. The feeling of being lied, keeping in the dark, worse, betrayal by the people he care the most keep haunting him. No more... no more... please just take his life away.

"Pathetic..." Senra whispered, talking about himself. Yes. He is such a pathetic human being. Why he even alive. He don't know how many time he had think about that.

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"53kg..." Senra muttered. Looking down at the weighing scale. Frowing, the blonde goes down and weigh himself again, alas the number didn't change. Writing it down on his note, Senra bite his lips in worried.

His weight have been decreasing by weeks and it's concerning him. If the others know, they will suspect something. But Senra cannot bring himself to eat more. Ever since that day, food taste so bland and he cannot even make it through his throat without vomiting.

Pikon

The notification come from Senra's phone. Tidying up the scale, Senra swipe his notification down only to see it's from USSS_info tweet. Clicking on it, the phone almost fall from Senra's hand as he saw the image that display.

"I see... hahaha... I see..." Muttering while tears falling down again.

The picture of three of them going to arcade hurt his heart. Once again... they go out without inviting him. Once again... how many time does this happened? How many time does he have to suffer? If they do hate him or hanging around him, tell him. Don't put on an act!

Senra sit on the floor as his hand shakily reach for the drawer that he always use these days.

Slash

Slash

Slash

Slash

The blond keep slashing his own arm. The once faded wound reappeared back. Not enough. He need to do more. The pain on his body isn't the same as what his heart feel.