What is life? 04

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Warning: Suicide thought, blood, self harm
Read at your own risk

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By the time he wake up, he was laying down inside a pure white room. Turning his head, the blonde can see the monitor heart rate beeping softly beside him. Ah... he is in the hospital right now. A sense of disappointment washed through his body. He didn't die....

"Ah! Did you wake up! Doctor!" A voice ringing from his right side. Shima, with a worry face, press the red button that dangling beside his bed.

Few seconds after that, an old man wearing white lab coat come. Wearing a gentle expression on his face, he slowly examined Senra's condition. The nurse beside him wrote all the thing that the doctor said.

"Erm... you are his friend right?" The doctor turned toward Shima. The ever lasting gentle expression never changed.

Nodding his head, Shima quickly replied. "Yes. How is he?"

"Physically, he's fine. With a lot of rest, he will healed. But..." The doctor paused his sentences before he glanced a little at the blonde. "Mentally... I'm afraid... we need to transfer him for psychology check up."  As he said that, the doctor and nurse left the room. Leaving the two in silent once again.

"Eh?" Shima let out a small gasp. Psychology? Does he mean Senra's mental health is not okay?

Few question flew by Shima's head but that all stopped when he hear a small noise from the man beside him.

"Why.... Why..." Senra mumbled. His pale cheeks wetted with tears. "Why am I still alive..."

"Senra!" Seeing that, Shima quickly went to Senra's side. "What's wrong?? Are you hurt anywhere?"

Stopping his mumbled, Senra turned to Shima. His once beautiful golden eyes dimmed from its light. "Hurt? Hahahah."

It must be weird to see a man that cry but laughing at the same time. However, Senra no longer have the right mind to comprehend his action right now.

"Why... Why am i here!? Why i didn't die yet!? Why... please... just let me die!" Screaming, Senra hit his blanket covered lap. Painful, darkness, muddy. Everything just mixed up and Senra can only shouted his feelings.

"Calm down Senra!" Panicking a little, Shima try to calm the blonde but it turned out to be useless.

Taking off the iv drips from his hands and arms, Senra's eyes scan the surrouding. Anything, anything he can use to end this pathetic life of him.

Frantically searching, the blonde finally landed his eyes on the small fruit knife.

Sensing the danger, Shima try to stop him however Senra is way faster.

Taking the knife, without thinking of anything, he stab his stomach. It's painful but that didn't stop Senra from pushing it further into his stomach.

"Fuck!" Shima cursed as he quickly catch Senra's fallen body and take the knife out. "Stay with me Senra please." Tears coming out, his voice waver but more than anything his heart beating fast. Aftaid.

"Maashii?" Urata's voice. "What happened!?" Quickly run toward Shima with bloody Senra in his arm, Urata's face become pale.

"CALL THE DOCTOR NOW!" Shima screamed, his hand still pressing over the wound.

"O-okay." Pressing the same button as Shima did earlier, Urata also pressed over the wound. "Senra, please don't close your eyes." Despite his own adrenalina rush, Urata calmly talk to the blonde.

"Fufufu... with this... everyone can be happy..." Senra said. His voice getting smaller and smaller by the minutes. "I'm sorry.... For existing..." his eyelid slowly fall.

"No no no! Senra! Open your eyes!" Calling out to Senra, Shima already burst his eyes out.

"Sen-chan! Listen! You can do it! Stay with us!" The same level as panic as Shima, Urata also try to call out to Senra.

Lifting his hand, Senra wipe the tears from Shima's face. "Don't cry... the good face is ruined." Then he turned to Urata. With the other hand, he also wipe the tears.

"I'm happy... to hear you call me... Sen-chan once again..."

To be continue

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