Our Story

Love Letter

MIKA

May 6, 2019 10:00 PM

Here I am, crying over you once again. It's been 5 years. 5 years since we last saw each other, since we last spoke to each other, since the love of my life broke my heart; since you left me. 5 years na rin akong ganito. I keep writing you letters but I never actually send them to you. Naaawa na nga ako kanila Kim eh, wala silang magawa para maibalik ako sa dati. I usually go out every night and drown all my thoughts in alcohol to make myself numb from all the pain you've caused me. But not tonight. Tonight, I've decided to spend my time on writing my last letter for you. You're coming back here tomorrow; tonight will be the last time I'm going to cry over you and this will be the second to the last letter I'll write for you. The last one? I'll write it tomorrow, when I see you again.

You see, when you chose her over me; over us, I swear I felt my heart shatter into pieces. Or maybe that's an understatement, because it was worse. You apologized for a million times and god, I wanted to say that it was okay but it wasn't; I wasn't. And all I could do was cry, cry, and cry. When you left me, I told myself I'd be able to move on soon. But who was I kidding? I had to do the hardest thing ever: to stop loving you because you've already stopped loving me. And the hardest part about losing you was learning to live without you. I have absolutely no idea how to fill the void; the emptiness that's left inside my heart when you left.

You know, although I'm writing you this 'love' letter, I still hate you. I hate you for giving up on me. I hate you for giving up on us. I hate you for hurting me. I hate you for leaving me. I hate you for making me cry. I hate you for not being there when I needed you the most. I hate you for what you've done. I hate you for ruining everything we had. I hate you for making me trust you when you were just going to break that trust. I hate you for making me love you so much.

Mostly, I hate you for making me a fool because I still love you despite everything you put me through.

I sealed the paper into the envelope as a tear dropped on it and put it on top of my box of letters. Believe it or not, I've been writing her letters almost everyday for the past 5 years. Trust me, you don't know how hard I tried to move on, pero wala, mahal ko eh. She put me through so much pain but it's amusing how I still love her despite all that.

"Ye?"

"Pasok." Bumukas ang pinto and I saw Mela come in.

Si Mela nga pala. We live in one apartment with her girlfriend Kim and our other friends Jessey, Riri, Cienne and Cams. May coffee shop si Jessey at Riri, pre-school teachers si Cienne at Cams along with Ate Cha, and I work in the same company with Kim and Mela.

"Oh? Sinulatan mo ulit si FO?"

I smiled sadly and sighed. "Yup. Pero second to the last na 'to. Uuwi na siya bukas eh."

"Ilang beses mo na sinabi yang second to the last na yan?" Natawa naman kami pareho. "Pero seryoso, kaya mo na bang makita siya ulit?"

"Kakayanin."

Nginitian naman niya ko. "Ay oo nga pala Ye, hindi raw pwede yung business partner natin bukas. Inurong niya yung meeting sa Thursday. Pero padala mo nalang daw yung mga hinihingi niyang files sa kanya bukas."

"Eh saan? Diba galing sa States yun?"

May collab kasi kami with another company from the US. Ang mysterious nga nung owner eh, ayaw magpakilala. Daming alam, haha.