WHEN THE PAST COMES TO JUMPSTREET

CHAPTER 34: LITTLE COLD SHOULDERS

Tom said, "Sydney can I talk to you a minute?"  She said "sure Girls you sit here and watch your brother play. I will go get things ready in the kitchen.  Tom followed Sydney.

Sydney said "Tom I'm so sorry. I wouldn't blame you if you were mad at me."  Tom said "Sydney stop. You have nothing to be sorry for."  Sydney said, "Tom, I have messed everything up. I am a bad mom. I failed."  Tom said " don't say that. You are the best mommy."  Sydney said "I had no idea that Tommy did not want me with you, was waiting for his daddy to come back, and I had no idea the girls thought that you left me because of them.  How could I have let this happen. I just thought they were too little to understand any of it. I knew eventually I would have to explain but I didn't think"   Tom said, "Sydney stop. This isn't your fault."  Sydney said "I had no idea they heard me cry.  I thought I hid it."  Tom said "this is on me. You needed me. I should have found another way to protect you but still be able to talk to you. I should have sent you out of town before I started the case, so that I knew you would be safe. Then this wouldn't have happened." Sydney hugged him and cried.  

Tom said "Baby I love you so much, and I do love all 3. I swear I do. I'm sorry I'm a bad dad, I can't tell them apart."  Sydney said "Tom no look it's impossible to tell them apart unless you get to know them.  I'm sure you will. I'm sorry they are so upset and hurt. But I know they love you. They just need time. Please don't give up."  Tom said, "I won't.  I understand.  But those girls hate me."  Sydney said, "No Tom I promise they don't. They are just upset. I know they love you. I will keep trying to talk to them and explain. I think that they are just maybe testing you, to see if you do love them"    Tom said, "I was worried that they would resent me, Sydney, I told you, those kids adore you, and they saw you crying over me, and that I wasn't there. Sydney, I don't even know how you did it, 3 babies at one time, physically having them and then taking care of them. The fact you don't hate me" Sydney said, "Tom, I could never hate you. It's important that I let them feel how they feel, please understand."  Tom said "I do, I agree, it's fine Sydney. Don't worry ok. I'm not going anywhere."  Sydney hugged him.  Sydney said, "Tom I love you so much"  Tom said, "I love you too. And baby I promise you I'm never going to leave you or the kids ok. I'm here. I wish to God I could go back and change what happened, but I can't. All I can do is focus on now." Sydney said "Tom I want to be with you so bad. But I can't. I mean can't have sex unless I'm married, I can't ever take a chance of getting pregnant like that again"  Tom said "I know. And just know I get we can't just get married right now. Kids need to come first. They need to be able to all 3 accept me as their dad. But just know I'd marry you right now Today if you would marry me"

Sydney said, "Tom I would love to marry you."  She kissed him.  Tom said, "I just hope someday the girls don't hate me."  Sydney said, "Tom they don't."  Tom said "Sydney I feel like I'm the worst father. They have reason to be upset. I can't tell them apart. I've tried."  Sydney said "Tom just give it time, you will be able to, once you spend time with them, and see that there are differences."  Tom said "I hope I can, but I mean I'm not feeling very positive, I mean I can't even tell their dolls apart."  Sydney laughed.

She said, "Sorry but Tom, the dolls are the same"  Tom said, "I know that, but the girls can tell them apart."  Sydney laughed.  She said "I'll tell you a secret. The dolls are the same, their clothes are the same "  Tom said, "Yeah I know that, but they can tell them apart."  Sydney said "yes the girls think they can tell them apart, but they can't Tommy. Look when the girls picked them out, I let them hold them in the store, and then they kept them, then when they do put them up they each have a toy box with their name on it.  They think they know which is which but I could take them at night and switch them and they wouldn't know."  Tom smiled. He said "oh."  Sydney laughed. Tom said, "I knew they were the same doll but I thought there was a way they could tell them apart." Tom smiled.  Sydney hugged him.  Sydney said "Tom I need get back to kids, but just please promise me you won't stay away from the girls or quit trying no matter how long it takes.  I know they love you. I'm sorry I didn't realize they thought their daddy didn't love them. I will fix this ok. It just may take a little while. But please don't give up on them"  Tom said "I won't Sydney"  Sydney said "I know it's easy with Tommy, cause he's happy. So I'm just worried that you will gravitate more towards him and stop trying with the girls."  Tom said "Sydney I won't. I know it won't be easy ok. But it's fine. I will do whatever it takes with the girls . I know it's my fault. They are just babies. I did this. I got to fix it. I want you to know I'm not just saying I love them ok just to try to get you back. I know it may sound crazy to you or unbelievable. But I fell in love with those 3 kids, all 3, the minute I saw them. Yeah I was shocked, never dreamed we had 3 babies, but the moment I saw them, I was filled with indescribable feeling of love, pride. I swear baby. I love them. I want to be a great dad. I give you my word. I will work hard at being a good dad."  She said "I believe you"