3rd Year | Jeon Jungkook

22 • Can I Be That Someone?

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"I cannot begin to express how sorry I am for what happened to you."

Looking from the large hand that now gently held hers within it to his amber eyes filled with remorse, Dahlia remained silent as Dominic spoke.

Tucked away in a quiet corner of a coffee shop, the pensive couple sat far enough away from the baristas serving the slow yet steady stream of guests to give them a semblance of privacy. Having this conversation in her dorm would have been preferable over a Starbucks but after the events of the Halloween party, Dahlia knew it wasn't the best choice. Bun was already suspicious of Dominic and still angry over what happened, so inviting Dominic into their dorm right now was asking for a tense, awkward situation.

"I shouldn't have left your side," he continued. "They would have been fine without me. You shouldn't have been put in that situation and I'm sorry for letting that happen."

During the party, he was pulled away by a friend that needed help dealing with another in their group that had gotten so belligerently drunk that it took both of them to get him calmed down enough to go home. When faced with the option of taking Dahlia with him into a potentially violent encounter or having her wait for him, he thought he chose the less risky option.

"It wasn't your fault," she said softly. "You we're trying to be a good friend. Neither of us could have known that was going to happen."

He sighed with a pained smile and caressed her fingers. "You're being way too forgiving, my love," he said. "Your roommate had every right to be angry at me, and so do you. I'm still angry at myself."

"It's ok," she said.

He shook his head. "It's not ok. You could have been hurt so much worse. I was supposed to protect you but someone else had to step in and do it for me."

"Dom, don't be so hard on yourself. It wasn't your fault."

"It feels like it was. Excuse my language but I feel like shit and now you probably..."

When he fell silent, she gently coaxed him to continue. "Probably what?"

Exhaling a heavy sigh, he moistened his lips as he stared at the table between them. The wheels in his mind were turning, evidenced by the emotions that flit across his handsome features. After a long moment of silence, his amber eyes finally lifted and he spoke slower as he tried to put what he felt to words.

"Have you ever felt like you have to... to be someone... different, no... someone better than you are?"

The painfully familiar sentiment made her breathing momentarily pause. Swallowing hard, she gently pressed him to explain. "What do you mean? You aren't a bad person. You're a great person. Why would you need to be someone else?"

His full lips pressed into a straight line as his amber eyes moved back and forth between hers. "It's not that I want to be someone else, I want to be who I am but I feel like..."

Seconds ticked by, and Dahlia could see his resolve crumbling before her. Eventually, his gaze fell back to the table.

"I'm sorry. I'm not making any sense at all. This probably sounds so stupid to you."

Tightening her previously relaxed fingers around his, she offered him her support, sensing where his scattered thoughts were headed. "Talk to me," she said.

The gentleness in her voice made him look up at her again, and the vulnerability she found there tugged at her heartstrings.

"I feel like I have to constantly portray this... ideal version of myself," he began. "I try to be this smooth, articulate, charismatic person. Someone that's the epitome of being a gentleman. That's not who I am. And-and that's not to say I'm a bad person. I'm not a bad person. I try to be the best I can be but when there's so much pressure on me, when so many people are watching my every move and scrutinizing every word I say..."