our daughter (marina fanfic)

Chapter 6

Olivia's POV

After about an hour of that dinner scene (which recently these types of occurrences have been more frequent), I heard a voice coming downstairs.

"Olivia could you come down please", Maya's voice echoed in my room. 

I jumped off my bed and walked downstairs to the living room where mom and mama were sitting down. I stood there in front of them, confused as to why they were asking me. 

"Bambina sit down please", mama said as she pointed to the space on the couch next to her and mom. 

I sat down and waited for either one of them to speak. My heart rate was increasing while I waited. Then my mom broke the silence. 

"Liv, did you eat your lunch today?", Maya asked me calmly, staring straight into my soul with her bright blue eyes. 

"I told you, I did", I said while I tried to sound as convincing as I could, trying to hide the nervousness in my voice. 

My mom looked at her wife before mama continued. 

"Bambina, I found the lunch your mom made out for you in the trash", mama said with a calm tone, looking at me with a worried face. 

I felt my heart skipping a beat. I immediately realized my defeat and put my head in my hands. I'm so stupid, god I'm so fucking stupid, I repeated to myself in my head. The room was silent for a moment before my mom spoke up

"Honey, is there something going on?", my mom asked while finally I had the courage to look up from the floor. 

"No, I told you I'm fine", I replied as I was trying my hardest not to break down. 

"Then why aren't you eating bella?", my mama asked. 

"It's just...I'm just not hungry okay. And I am eating, there's nothing wrong with my eating", I said my voice starting to break down a bit when lying to my parents.

"Olivia please don't lie to us. Your mom and I agree, for the past few months you've been in a weird mood, shutting us out, avoiding eating with us, dressing up more in loose clothing, running more...", mama said as I stared at my hands. 

I was silent. They had guessed it. Gosh, they knew. 

"Liv when was the last time you ate?", Maya asked me while looking at her wife. Both of them knowing I didn't touch my dinner tonight. 

"This morning", I quickly replied back, knowing I definitely did not eat anything in the morning. 

"What did you have?", she asked back. 

"An apple", I told her, not even taking a second to think about if we actually had any apples. It was just the first thing that came to mind. 

"Bambina we haven't had apples in two weeks", Carina sighed and said while looking at Maya. 

So now they both knew I was lying. Ugh, I hate this, I really hate this. Me and my parents are very close and I absolutely hated lying to them. There was just this voice in my head telling me to lie. They couldn't know I didn't eat, otherwise, they would force me to eat. But still, something in me wanted to let out all the pain and loneliness I was feeling, despite the voice in my head telling me not to. I started to sob as I tried to form proper words to describe to my parents how I was feeling and it all came out without a filter as my sobs became louder. 

"I just can't eat okay, I can't and I won't. I'm too fat and disgusting and a waste of space okay, I just can't do it anymore. With school and soccer, everything feels chaotic and not eating gives me control to deal with everything and I'd rather not eat than harm myself in other ways but I can't seem to stop that either and I just can't handle it anymore. Food scares me and I can't stop anymore", I cry out as my parents were both looking at me worried. 

I stopped talking and immediately regretted what I just said. Both of my moms kept looking at me while I silently stared at my hands. I felt trapped, I couldn't believe they'd found out. And I couldn't believe I just told them all these things. I felt like a failure. I noticed my heart rate started to increase even more and before I knew it I was starting to have an anxiety attack, another thing I hadn't really told my moms about. I placed my hand on my chest as I started to have trouble breathing, my chest rising up and down rapidly. My mom quickly got off the couch and crouched in front of me taking my hands, while my mama went to grab a glass of water and sat next to me.  

"Honey, Olivia, hey, it's okay, you are fine, you are safe. Look at me Liv, look at my eyes Liv, look at mommy", my mom told me as she held my hands and placed them on top of her chest, me physically feeling the movement of her breathing. 

I couldn't look into her eyes, I felt so ashamed. God Liv why are you so stupid, now they'll force you to eat and gain weight now that they know, was playing in my head, while tears were running down my face. 

"Babygirl hey look at my eyes, look at mommy, breathe for me, copy my breathing Olivia, you can do it sunshine", my mom kept repeating to me as I finally looked down at her bright blue eyes. My mama was rubbing my back with her hand and I was just sobbing, trying to match my breathing to my mom's who was kneeling in front of me. 

After a while, my breathing had finally calmed down a bit and I just sat there with my head in my hands. I couldn't believe I broke down in front of them. I was able to hide it for months but now they knew. My moms were now both sitting on the couch, me between them, still crying, honestly kinda acting like a tired toddler. 

My moms noticed I was starting to get tired from the crying so mama pulled me closer to her and placed my head on her chest, as I continued to quietly sob as she stroked my hair and my mom rubbed my back with her hand. At that moment everything was hurting so bad that I just wanted my moms, as much as I hated myself for telling them what was going on inside my head. So I stayed there and let my mama hold me. Gosh, I've missed their hugs and comfort. 

"Sshhhh bella it's okay, everything's going to be alright", Carina said smoothly as she stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. 

I started to feel sleepy and after a while, I dozed off to sleep. 

Maya's POV

As Carina was holding our broken daughter, I looked at my wife, who now also had tears streaming down her face. I guess we both were kind of speechless at this point. I was still trying to process what had just happened. 

"We have to get her some help", I managed to say to her, as she was still running her fingers through our daughter's brown long hair. 

"Yeah, I agree. We should probably also book an appointment with Arizona, just in case there have been any physical effects after her restricting for so long.", my wife said. 

After a while, as our girl started to stir a bit, we decided to get Olivia to bed. I took her from Carina and carried her upstairs into her room and placed her on her bed. The girl was almost 16 but still weighed like a 12-year-old. Carina pulled the covers from Olivia's bed and I tucked her in. There were still dried tears on her face and she looked peaceful but exhausted. I kissed my daughter's head as did Carina, and then we just stood for a bit at the entrance of our children's room, just watching her sleep. 

"I can't believe it took us so long to notice", I said breaking the silence. 

"Maya, we have been so busy with work, we can't blame ourselves. Plus she's a teenager, even if we were here most likely she wouldn't have told us.", Carina said to me back, while taking a hold of my hand. 

"What do you think she meant when she said talked about harming herself in other ways?", I asked looking at Carina. 

"I don't know bella. But sooner we find out the better.", she said and walked me out to our bedroom, leaving our daughter to sleep in her own.