our daughter (marina fanfic)

Chapter 18

Olivia's POV

It's been a couple of weeks since my moms found out about everything. Things have been okay, however, it seems like my parents are constantly watching me. It's like they don't trust me anymore, and it's getting a bit annoying. 

(Flashback)

"Everything ok?", I asked when my parents made an entrance into my room as I was getting ready for bed. 

"How about you sleep with this open for now?", mom suggested, pushing the door open. 

"Why?"

"Just so that your mama and I can keep a better eye on you", she said with a shrug. 

"You don't trust me with my door closed? It's just a door", I said annoyed.

"Bambina to be very real with you now, we don't fully trust you. It'll make us feel better. Please bella, just for a little while?", mama joined. 

I rolled my eyes, sighed, climbed into the bed and closed my eyes. These women are gonna drive me crazy. 

(Present day)

I woke up gasping for air to another nightmare. I tried to catch my breath and saw that I was able to sleep almost a whole night. Some time ago a station nearby lost a firefighter, and it was all over the news, and since then I've been getting some dreams about my mom dying in a fire. I know she's the captain but her safety is still not guaranteed. Especially if it's a big fire. 

I decided to get up and get ready for the day. I had therapy today which I was not looking forward to. I mean Dr Hopkins and I have definitely accomplished improvement, I don't sit the entire session being silent anymore, but ever since my moms told her about the self-injury, I've been avoiding the topic with her. I'd rather talk about something else. But also deep down I felt grateful that I had access to therapy, I had a lot of friends who didn't. 

I went downstairs to see my mom making her usual smoothie, which was coloured like the wicked witch of the west. Mama had a night shift for a change, so I was expecting her to be home in a couple of hours. I just wished my mom could stay home. 

"How long are you going to be gone?", I asked my mom, startling her so she almost dropped the blender cup on the floor. 

"I should be home for dinner, so a regular day sunshine", she replied back smiling, as she was walking towards the front door. 

"Stay safe", I yelled when she opened the door. 

"I always try", she shouted back. And then the door bumped shut. I was alone. 

I spent the next couple of hours just reading a book in our comfy armchair next to the fireplace. I had a hard time keeping myself awake, and my eyes started to slowly close. I woke up to the sound of the front door and saw mama walk into the living room. 

"Hi bella", she said. 

I stretched my arms above my head and yawned a reply, "Hey". 

"Did you take a nap, or did you come back to sleep here when mom left for work?", she asked frowning, looking at the clock. 

"I guess I took a nap, I just fell asleep here", I said, raising my shoulders. 

"Why are you so tired?", she asked me. 

"I don't know, I just didn't sleep well last night", I shrugged back. 

She was about to say something when she closed her mouth again. She went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee, and a couple of minutes later she spoke out, "Remember you have an appointment with Dr Hopkins today at 3 pm."

"Oh yeah trust me, I remembered", I replied cheekily. 

"Great! We leave at 2.40 pm", she chimed back at me. 

(In therapy)

"How have you been this past week?", my therapist Sarah started the session. 

I shrugged and replied, "Okay I guess". 

"How did you sleep last night?", she asked, trying to make me speak up.  

"Not good"

"Another nightmare?", she raised her eyebrow. 

I nodded. 

Since the nightmares started to become a reoccurrence, I brought them up in therapy last week. In Dr Hopkins' words, it was totally understandable for my brain to react this way. Having a parent as a first responder wasn't easy, and it was natural for me to be concerned. 

"Have you told your moms about them yet?"

"No, I don't want to bother them, especially my mom. I don't want her to feel bad for the nature of her work", I replied back. 

"You are allowed to feel worried Olivia. Her work can be freighting, and your feelings are valid", she spoke softly. 

"What happened in the dream?", she continued. 

"The same pattern I guess. I was at a scene and she had to go inside the house. Everyone else got out but she had to save this one kid, cause she's that stubborn and caring. Then there was an explosion at the front of the house, and she couldn't make it out, she died", I explained, fidgeting with my fingers. 

After talking about the nightmares and some additional topics, we started to end the session. 

"My homework for you is to try to talk to your moms about the dreams. If you feel like you can't yet, it's okay. But I know it could make you feel better, and I highly recommend it", she spoke. I nodded. 

"How was the session", mama asked as I climbed into the car. 

"Okay I guess", I replied. 

As we drove back to the house, I was feeling uneasy. I know I should tell my moms about the dreams, but mom already feels bad that her job can be risky, and can never promise to come back home. I don't want to add to that. There's only been a couple of cases throughout her career, where she has gotten slightly injured and had gone to Grey Sloan for smoke inhalation or a sprained wrist, but that's it. 

I guess mama noticed the restlessness in me, so she put her hand on my thigh. 

"How about we just have a movie night after dinner? Just some Olivia, mom and mama time?", she encouraged. 

"I'd like that", I replied, giving a weak smile. 

When we got to the house, we started preparing for dinner. I was peeling the carrots when I spoke out nervously, "When's mom gonna be home?". 

"She should be home any minute now, bambina", mama said back. 

We waited until dinner was ready, and we sat around the dining table, waiting for mom. After a while, mama looked at the clock and frowned. 

"She's probably just stuck in traffic, let's eat before it gets cold".

I nodded, trying to believe what mama said to me. Traffic in Seattle can be crazy during the early night hours, it can sometimes take a while to get from one place to another. That must've been the reason why she was late. 

We ate, put away our plates, and started to set up to watch a movie. Mama was quickly scanning over the news on her phone while I was rummaging through the cabinets for some movie snacks. I heard her gasp and I quickly returned to the living room. 

"What is it mama?", I asked concerned. 

"There is a 5-alarm fire at a large residential building. They are calling all stations in, including 19 and Maya. Apparently, it's bad".