PROLOGUE

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Author's advice before reading the story:

This is a girl x girl fiction story. So if you're straight and not comfortable reading this story, hindi ko naman po ipipilit na basahin nyo.

It's written in taglish and if you find any grammatical errors, please bear with me cause I'm not fluent in english. This is my first ever story so I'm really asking for the readers to understand if it didn't reach their expectations.

Please read at your own risk and keep an open mind. Thank you!

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(//Unedited//)

I am a woman, but I fell in love with a girl. Yeah, that's right. Clearly, I know to myself that I am straight ever since the day I was born. Not until I met her. I was 19 years old and she's only 15 that time. I admit, I'm not the kind of person whom you can easily approach. Most of my classmates and the other students refer to me as cold, intimidating and rude. I don't give a fuck about others feelings, and it's also the same for her.

But everything just happened unexpectedly. We became close and spent most of the time with each other. And whenever I'm with her, all the problems, stress that I'm facing, she made me forget all of those. She became my sunshine, my rainbow, my everything.

I was happy, contented with the way we are. She taught me to be a better person. She taught me how to forgive, taught me that there will be good things despite of how cruel your past can be.

And most especially, she taught me how to love. It may sound cringe, but is this the feeling where you feel like you're floating on cloud 9? Why do I feel like I'm the happiest whenever I'm with her? Is this really what falling in love supposed to be?

But then, all of the times we spent, the feelings that we shared, collapsed when fate took her away from me. To be honest, I don't know what I'll do that time. Will I go back to the way I was before? Will I follow the same fate she took? There are times where I lost consciousness of the things that are happening around me. In short, I became numb.

"Baby please, she will not be happy if she sees you like this." I heard my Mom said. She caught me again drowning my sorrows in liquor. When I look at her, she's crying. How many times did I make her cry already?

"I don't care, Mom. S-She won't be back anymore. She won't." I feel my eyes started to heat up again, that's why I grab the shot glass and drink the whiskey, bottoms up.

Dammit! For how long will I cry?

I almost fell off the seat, when someone grab me recklessly by my arm and make me face him. Eyes filled with miserable black.

"Think about yourself, Astrid! Think about your Mom. Look at you, you're so wasted! How many times do I have to tell you that you're not alone in this world. You still have us. You still have your family. Do you know how many times I pray to God that he bring my daughter back to us? So please baby, redeem yourself." My heart shattered into pieces after hearing my Father's broken voice.

The tears that are just threatening to fall are streaming down my cheeks now. I can't control my sobs as I continuously mutter my 'sorry'. He's right. I'm not alone in this world, there's still a chance for me to move on and move forward.

For the past three years, I tried to redeem myself like how I promised Dad. And for me to be able to do that, I distance myself from everyone. I need space and thankfully, they let me. I tried to avoid being so attach with someone. As much as possible, I try not to interact with new people. And that made me become who I was again before I met her.

Now, I'm proud to say that I've moved on. It's a long and hard process but still. If you're willing to do it, then you will achieve it.

'That's what I thought.'

When I came back to the Philippines, I met this girl. From the moment I laid my eyes on her, the first thought that came to my mind is that she looks like her. And fuck fate, cause they also have the same personality.

Call it luck, but it's not for me. I dislike the way she stares, always seemed concern, tease me as if we're close and always show me her genuine smile. I despise that smile so much as it reminded me about all the things they have in common. About how that simple smile became my greatest weakness before.

I act more cold towards her cause I thought that she will be scared and she'll leave me alone. But that brat just seems to be more interested in me whenever I'm trying to distance myself.

'Fuck her concern and sincerity!' That's what I always thought.

I don't want to be involve with her. I don't want her to be close to me and know everything that I'm hiding. I don't want her to unravel the memories I left to be unspoken. And most especially, I don't want her to have a glimpse of my past. To have a glimpse of what I truly feel.

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