~|𝐁𝐄𝐓|𝟏𝟗𝟕𝟖 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐞|~

Chapter 17

Nick's pov

My mom just came home and we were sitting in the living room just talking with each other. She didn't come home quite late, it was around 7 pm. I know she doesn't like me being with Ella. I could see it in the way she looked at our hands. But because she thinks Ella went through so much, she won't say it in her face. She doesn't dislike her, i think my mom actually loves her. But she just doesn't want me to end up hurt.

The girls i dated before, which are like only two, were awful to me. I told Ella how they only loved my reputation, but they also loved my money, my attention and the fact that i love to spend time and money on the people i love. That's kinda my love language. And touch ofcourse but that's different. They'd just get what they wanted and then they left me. And the worst part is that i always fell in love with them. So i ended up saying no to every girl that asked me out. Politely.

My mom thinks that people from Shadyside are worse. That Ella would definetly use me but, she's not like that at all. I know it and i've known from the day we started the bet. I think Shadysiders actually would use people less. Cause they know what it's like to be used or be hurt. They're good people, it's the curse that's holding them back. And my mom knows. I don't think she likes it, she just loves my dad. And Will.

That's probably why she loves Ella. So she can still help the people to get away from there. She's the best, even though she pressures me to be someone i'm not. She just isn't able to deal with dad being gone so she turns Will and me into him. She sees him in us. We know that. So we want to help her in any way possible.

Even though Will is not really helping. He's always somewhere else and the time that i see him, is at a fucking massacre. He did this to Joan, Cindy, Alice, Arnie, Tommy, Ziggy... Everyone. And he did this to Ella. That's what makes me the most mad. She's been going through so much and she's so strong. I feel like i've met a whole new side of her and she was so happy at camp. Now that's all ruined. I wish i could've saved everyone. Instead of saving everyone we brought Ella in danger, and i'm going to protect her as much as i can.

"Nick are you okay?" Ella asked me and i looked at her and smiled. "Yeah i'm okay, where did my mom go?" i asked as i noticed she was gone. "She said she was going to the backyard to read. Did you zone out?" she asked as she raised her eyebrow slightly. "Yeah sorry, just a bit tired" i answered and she smiled. "Are you sure you're okay Nick?" she asked me again and i sighed. "Not really" i mumbled and she opened her arms. "Come here" she whispered and i laid my head on her chest and she wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry Ella, i know you need all the support you need and i feel bad for bothering you" i said and she kissed my head. "Nick you're not bothering me at all. I'm not the only one that needs support. You have gone through alot as well Nick. Don't forget that you deserve all the love you need. And i think we can get through this if we support each other. Not you just caring for me"

"I'm a guy, isn't the boyfriend supposed to be the protective one?" i chuckled. "What? No, absolutely not. You're not just a boyfriend, you're a human being Nick. Everyone needs to be cared for. Not only women. You've been dealing with your fathers death for a long time and your brother is the closest thing to your dad that you have left. And to figure out he's been basically killing people isn't easy. You need to stop thinking that it should be easy for you just because you're a man. Everyone has feelings and everyone needs help. You deserve that help and i'll be here if you ever need someone to talk to. I love you" she told everything so clear but so softly. It made me tear up but i tried to fight the tears. "I love you too Ella" i sniffled and she played with my hair. "It's okay to cry" she whispered and i did. I wasn't sobbing but i just didn't fight the tears. I thought she would laugh at me but she didn't.

She stayed. She just kept playing with my hair, calming me down but not silencing my tears. I wonder why i deserve her. How did i even find someone so perfect? Words can't describe how lucky i am to be with her. The moments i get to spend with her are the moments i love the most. Even if i could just hold her for a second it will cheer up my entire day. She brings me a kind of joy i've never felt before. By smiling, laughing, hugging me or even just being in my presence. She's so special. I wonder if she feels the same about me. I wonder why she loves me. Would it be weird to ask? Too late.