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THE TWO LISAS
season 5, episode 3

' i don't hang out
with bitches '

"looks like we're getting new neighbors down the block

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"looks like we're getting new neighbors down the block. adamecs got kicked to the curb." carl walked into the kithcen.

"are those hickeys." debs asked. once i heard her say that i got up from the table and looked at his neck.

"what, did you have like a four-some?" i looked at the amount of hickeys on his neck.

"holly and ellie threw a party last night. those sluts are randy." carl set his things down.

"they threw a party?" debbie questioned him.

"mostly older kids. probably didn't want anyone who looked too young." carl glared at debbie.

"i don't look young!" debbie gave him a look.

"they said no virgins. you're a virgin." he looked her up and down.

"you're a virgin. they let you in." debbie raised a brow.

"i provide a service." carl set cereal boxes on top of the fridge.

"yeah, what services?" debbie asked.

"they make me give them oral in exchange for letting me stick around." carl said. i looked at him and scrunched my face up. who would even wanna get oral from carl?

"yo, scar. holly and ellie were asking about you last night. they were wondering why you didn't come." carl looked up at me.

"i don't hang out with bitches, plus i had somewhere better to be last night." i rolled my eyes.

"why have you been sneaking out lately. do you have a boyfriend?" carl asked me.

"ew no. no, boyfriend. just sex." i shrugged my shoulders.

"what's the point of being a virgin, anyways? nobody cares when a guy loses it, but for some reason, it's this huge deal for girls." debbie ranted.

"i kinda still wish i was a virgin." i sighed.

"what do you mean? literally everyone wants to fuck you." debbie looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed.

"it doesn't mean i wanna fuck them too. look, i'm just saying. i wish my first time was special instead of some guy i barley knew and fucked in the back of his moms old car." i scrunch my face at the livid memory.

"and it wasn't even good." i added on. i looked at carl and saw him spray 'axe' all over his body.

"ew, what is that?" debbie looked at carl with a disgusted face.

"smell of success. i'm gonna get laid at the pool today if they let me." carl sprayed the axe in his pants.

"ugh! i'm gonna throw my own party tonight an adult party." debbie walked over to the table.

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