𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟹𝟸

KANE

IT'S SILENT. WAY TOO SILENT for my linking. It feels different. Almost abnormal and different. Normally everything is so loud and deafening. This time the silence is deafening.

I don't like it. I don't like it one bit.

Rushing to sit up, I yank my shirt over my head and pant out breaths, chest glistening in sweat, feeling wetness on my neck, forehead and above my upper lip.

My throat feels dry. It feels itchy. I feel itchy everywhere. Scratching my arms absentmindedly, I notice I'm in Bella's room, eyes scanning around her room, nose inhaling the familiar scent and all of a sudden I feel claustrophobic.

I feel suffocated.

Shuffling towards the suite bathroom, i trip over my feet and blink away my sleep, panting, feeling as if I just ran a marathon. It feels hard to breathe. It's like there's dirt in my chest. Like something is stuffed in my nose and won't let me breathe properly. Like someone's scratching at my throat, trying to escape.

Fuck. It hurts.

Flipping open the tap, i splash cold water on my face, sighing loudly in content when I feel the cold water drip down my chest, nearly cooling me down. But it only last a few seconds.

I feel hot all over.

Not liking this, i rush out her bathroom and look for my jeans, noticing I'm wearing sweatpants now. Where the fuck are they. What even happened. How did they find me?

"Fuck!" I yell out, feeling frustrated. I think I can cry right now. Where the fuck are my jeans. I need them. For fuck sakes.

My eyes widen, legs rushing towards her vanity when I notice my jeans folded neatly, hastily grabbing them and shoving my hands in my pockets, mentally praying she didn't find them.

She didn't. Thank god. I don't know what I'd do if she did. Fuck.

I don't waste anytime stuffing two pills down my throat and swallowing them dry. It feels better like that.

Throwing my jeans away and the empty baggy, I drop to my knees in front of her wardrobe, crouching down and blinding patting the floor, feeling around for the certain box.

"Fuck yes!" I nearly yell out, sliding the shoebox out and grinning widely when I see the rolling paper, marijuana, weed and lighter stuffed into the box. It's not sitting in plain sight. It's hidden under a few papers.

We only smoke these on special, special occasions and we share on between the three of us. Not thinking about it, I grab the small amount left and shove it into my pockets, carelessly pushing the box back and getting back to my feet, looking through her wardrobe for something to wear.

I pause my movements, feeling dizzy, blinking a few times before groaning when I find it to hard to get what I need. Settling to grab the shirt I took off before, I quickly throw it on and momentarily freeze, thinking what I should do now.

What do I need?

What do I need?

Shoes! Looking at my bare feet, I soften my movements and walk towards the door, carefully and quietly open it, eyes feeling heavy and mind hazy. Just how I like it.

I hear music. Music I've heard numerous of times. Their favourite songs. Belle's favourite songs.

Creeping out the room, I tip toe towards the closet opposite her room, knowing I have some of my shoes there. Accidentally, I hit my elbow against the door frame, quickly biting my knuckle at the soft thud that echoes.

I pause my movements, waiting to see if anything happens and nothing does so I take that as a clear and grab the first shoes I see which are my old tennis shoes.

It was hard putting them on because everything was moving to slow and my eyes can barely stay open.

Smiling happily when they are on, I pat my pockets to make sure everything is there and rush back into Bells room, not caring if I make noise anymore.

Pushing open her window, I shove my head out, throwing my mouth open and tongue out like a dog and letting the harsh wind hit my face.

Not caring, i chuck myself out the window and land on the grass with a loud thud, a groan and 'oomph' leaving my mouth. Aimlessly laying there, I stare at the sky, furrowing my brows, reaching my hands out and playing with my fingers, finding the sky so blue.

Wow. It looks cool. The clouds are dancing. Chasing after each other and doing weird shapes. Sitting up, I hold my stomach with a grimace when I suddenly feel sick.

Remembering Belle and probably Marcus and maybe Graham are inside, I get up and run down the road, this time knowing exactly where I'm running.

It's breezy.

It's nice.

I close my eyes, running fast, arms wide open as I run, a wide smile on my face. Feels so good. They snap open at a loud horning sound, i car quickly coming at a halt right in front of me, the driver looking scared, relived and annoyed all in one.

Grinning, i messily salute him and yell out, "Wish you could've killed me too, mate!" Nearly stumbling over nothing and catching myself from falling to the floor, I reach my house and push the door.

It's locked. Keys. Patting my pockets, i frown remembering I don't have them.

"Dad!" I knock loudly, "Dad, I forgot my keys! Can you open up!"

There's no answer.

Then it hits me in the face, nearly has me falling backwards.

Dad's dead.

He's not here.

He's gone.

Never coming back.

Clenching my jaw, wanting to forget everything, I kick the flower pot beside the door and reach down to grab the key that's hiding under it, pushing open my door and slamming it shut behind me.

Before I run upstairs, I latch the safety lock on, knowing Isabelle and Marcus have keys to my house.

Then I happily run upstairs, not letting myself think about the fact my dad's room is right there and instead let myself die slowly.

I sink to the floor, inhaling the thing that I hope will kill me. I hope the drugs kill me.

I pray.