𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟶

ISABELLE

I SIGH QUIETLY, hands leaning against the bathroom sink, silently staring into the mirror, a frown on my face.

Have I gained weight?

My face looks more bloated and puffy. It looks more round and fat. Why does it look like that? Has it always looked like that?

Looking down, I see my stomach sticking out, covering the view of my feet. Tears blur my eyes, throat clogging up.

Why am I gaining so much weight? I canceled my food intake to one meal a day. I only had noodles this whole week. One bowl a day. Do I need to cancel down the intake portion?

Tears roll down my cheeks, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, face in my hands, body shaking as I cry.

Kane is going to hate me. I fucking look disgusting. No, Isabelle, it's just your head. No one hates you.

"Yes they fucking do." I speak aloud, sniffing. Staring at the toilet, my mind wonders to the times I use to purge. I promised myself and Kane I would never do it again.

That time he caught me still makes me shudder.

It was my fifteenth birthday and my dad hired a venue to celebrate my party at. I was in high school back then so obviously I invited half the people in my year, seeing as I pretty much was mutuals with everyone.

Everyone came looking beautiful, which made me feel so insecure but I held it back. I tried my best not to let my mind ruin my night but then I saw Kane talking to this pretty blonde girl, hitting me straight in the gut.

I danced with Marcus and Tom to distract my mind but it was impossible. All I did was compare myself to that girl and every other girl in the venue. Kane didn't talk to that girl for long but it was long enough for the image to burn in my mind.

I didn't blame Kane nor any girls for my insecurities. I simply blamed myself. Hanging out with the boys and Kane did up my spirits until it was time to cut the cake.

I regret having a cutting cake ceremony. I should have left it and just let people help themselves but no, I wanted to cut my own.

The girl Kane was talking to, surprise surprise, liked him. I'm pretty sure she was in love with him. Her name was Bethany Cooper, always degrading me whenever she had the chance. She hated me because I was best friends with Kane. All her friends slagged me off with her because I was apparently slutty for having three boys as friends.

Even though two of them were gay.

Bethany came towards me, sitting opposite me on the table as I ate my cake with a smile on my face. She then asked, "Isn't that your second slice?"

Mind you, it was my second big slice. The chocolate cake was to die for. I couldn't help it.

I tried to ignore her and continue eating my cake with a smile sent towards her, but she didn't stop. She wouldn't stop. She wouldn't leave me alone.

"I also saw you eating all those donuts and the desserts cups," She smiled in mock sympathy, "I don't think Kane will want to be friends with you, if you looked like a hippo."

Kane was my best friend. Is my best friend.
He always had been and always will be, so hearing her say that hurt. Would he really leave me if looked fat? That's all that ran through my head and by the look on Bethany's face, she knew her words had hit.

She giggled with her friends when she saw me rush out the hall to search for the bathrooms. Once I found them, I fell to my knees, hands curling around the toilet, head leaning down, ready to puke.