𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

chapter 37

ISABELLE

Coughing into my fist, i yank Marcus by his sweater sleeve and pull him towards me, a yelp escaping his lips. "Izzy— Wha?!"

I narrow my eyes and push at his chest, muttering, "Stop chatting shit 'bout him when he's right there." Marcus opens his mouth to speak, eyes glancing towards Kane, before he shakes his head and crosses his arms.

"At least i'm not saying it directly to him." Marcus shakes his head. "The twat has been a dick to you when you're literally fucking mothering him. Not once has he said thank you."

I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "He— Marcus." I sound drained. "He needs our help right now, and your snide remarks aren't helping."

"And his is?" He snaps, eyes wide. "The prick was muttering all sorts of colourful words, to your face, and when i do it behind his back—"

"He can still hear you."

"That's the point." He continues what he was saying before, "And behind his back is different. I want him to hear cause he's not getting off easy for being a bitch."

I hear a scoff, and my stomach churns. He's right there, silent all the time, until it's a bad day and he's puking or has the urge to break his streak, then he just becomes horrible.

So damn horrible.

Sighing softly, i give Marcus a tired smile and wrap my hand around his arm. "Just— look, i couldn't, didn't, help him before. I claim to be his— his bestfriend, but i didn't even know he was suffering." My voice cracks in between, voice dying at the end, and i watch Marcus' eyes soften.

"Izzy it's not your fa—"

"I know! I know. But just let me do this?" I smile softly, "Please?" Marcus sighs, but reluctantly nods. Giving him a look of appreciation, i tap his shoulders and walks towards Kane.

I suck in a harsh breathe, and hold it, slowly walking towards him. He sits lazily against the sofa, one leg man spreading out, while the other is curled under his thigh. His arm is wrapped around his stomach, while the other is resting against the sofa head. Kane hardly showers these days, so his hair looks tussled and messy. Basically permanent bed head.

Licking my lips, nerves running wild, i stand just beside him, and my heart stops for a second when i see every bone in his body tense. It's an exaggeration, but fuck it hurts. Tugging on my earlobe, i drop my hand and wring them together.

Marcus is watching me. Intently. I know he's on guard just in case Kane laches out again, but i know Kane will never ohh hurt me. Ever. No amount of drugs will corrupt him to do that. I'm sure of it..

Clearing my throat, i tighten my hands and smile softly, even though he doesn't make any move to look at me.

"Me, Marc and Thomas are going into town." No response. His dead eyes stare at the tv. My stomach churns and heat burns my neck, but i shove it down and continue.

"We— i was thinking you could join us. Y'know, get some fresh air and we'll visit that food court you like?" I look up, Marcus giving me a sympathetic look and i sigh. He nods encouragingly and i nod.

"Why don't you have a shower, clean up. You'll feel better. And we'll go? It'll be a nice change of scenery and you'll feel ten times—"

"No." It's sharp. Final.

I nearly jump at the sound of his voice. It's husky, slightly nasal and empty. The softness is replaced by cold.

"But you—"

"I said no!" I jerk back, eyes widening. "Are you fucking deaf!" Marcus shoots forward, grabbing me before i trip over my feet.

"Back the fuck up." Marcus glares at Kane, narrowing his eyes. Kane couldn't care less though. He stares me dead in the eyes and scowls. "Fuck off, Isabelle."

My heart drops.

"Fuck you, Kane." Marcus snaps. "She's only trying to help your pathetic ass. So stop being a prick—"

"Marcus." I manage to find my voice. I wrap a shaky hand around his bicep and tug him away. "It's okay. He's not himself, don't blame him."

Marcus shakes out my hold, eyes darting to me. "Sort yourself out, Kane. Fucking ruinin' everything you touch!"

"Marcus!" I gasp, pushing him away from Kane. "What? He's being a dick and needs reminding—"

"Go wait outside."

"What?"

"Go wait outside." He gapes at my request, opening his mouth to argue but i point my finger towards the door. "Go wait outside, call Thomas and i'll meet you there. Okay?"

He takes a few seconds to reply. "Okay." And then he leaves, softly shutting the door behind him. Running a hand through my hair and down my face, i put on my big girl pants and turn towards Kane.

He's sat in a different position now. Both his legs are on the floor, and he's slightly hunched over his knees. Arms wrapped around his stomach, he looks as if he's in pain.

"Kane?" I furrow my brows, the worry increasing. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He grits out, fisting his hand. I pinch my thighs, keeping my eyes on him. He doesn't look fine. His skin looks pale and sweaty, and i don't know if he's realised, but his shoulders are shaking ever so slightly.

"Kane, look maybe we need to go—"

"I said i'm fucking fine". He snaps his head up, and narrows his eyes at me. They are dead and empty. It kills me. "I already told you i don't fuckin' need you, Isabelle, so tell me why the fuck you are here!?"

I swallow harshly, throat feeling like sandpaper. It feels as if someone has dropped ice down my shirt. Or rubbed salt in my wound, cause i honestly feel like running away and hiding to cry. But he's in this mess because of me. I abandoned him.

"I'm here because you're my best friend." And i love you. "And— and i want to help you. Please let me help you?" His arms tighten around his stomach, brows furrowing. He opens his mouth to speak, but a pained groan leaves instead. I rush to him.

"We need to get you to the hospital, Kane. Please."

"No."

I shake my head. "Hospital. You don't have to talk to me, fuck, you don't even have to look at me— but please, let me take you to the hospital."

Licking above his lip, he runs a pale hand through his mussled hair and nods once. Nods stiffly. Nods as if it's the hardest thing he has to do. He finally looks at me, and nods stiffly.

I call Marcus inside, and move to help Kane up, but he stops me. I stand aside and watch Marcus help him into the car. Kane no longer looks at me. He doesn't glance up while i'm driving the car. He doesn't answer when i ask how he's feeling. He doesn't even argue with Marcus over his poorly choice of music.

Kane is utterly silent and i hate it. I drive him to hospital, tears streaming down my cheeks. Marcus taps my thigh in sympathy, an apologetic look in his eyes. I tighten my grip on the wheel. How did we get here?