𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟹𝟺

ISABELLE

I'M GRADUATING TODAY. WITHOUT KANE. I haven't spoken to him since that day. The day he told me he didn't need me anymore. That he hadn't needed me for a long time.

He was off his head when he said it. The red eyes, slurred words, shaking hands, pale face and drunken movements gave it away.

But drunk words are sober thoughts.

I've come to the terms that Kane relies on drugs. That the Kane i grew up with, is now ruining his life and risking it by snorting drugs; swallowing pills.

The love of my life is slowly slipping through my fingers and I can't do anything but watch. He won't let me help. Won't let me see him, let alone speak to him. He's whole heartedly thrown me out his life.

I want to say he's not in the right state of mind. That it's the drugs speaking and he hasn't got a clue as to what he's saying but I no longer have it in me to convince myself that.

I believe it. Kane doesn't need me anymore. I believe it.

It's been three months since that day. I haven't seen him at all. Well not in real life that is. I've seen him posted on people's instagram stories. He looks happy. Not happy but looks as if he's living.

He's not. He's dying and I can't do anything about it.

He's turning eighteen in two months. He'll legally be an adult. And right now we're supposed to be graduating college. Finally. He's not here. It feels wrong. So fucking wrong.

"Belle?"

I force a small smile on my face, hand fiddling with the black gown I'm wearing. It's comfortable. A silky material. Thankfully it doesn't go past my feet cause I know i would've definitely slipped.

"I'm okay, Marc," He looks as if he doesn't believe me, "Really! Have you seen my dad though?"

Marcus scans my face before sighing loudly, shaking his head to my question. "Sure he'll be here soon." I don't doubt it. I know my dad wouldn't miss this. Hopefully he flies in safely. That's all that matters.

"Can we go visit Kane after the ceremony?" My voice comes out quiet, almost hesitant. Marcus freezes at my words, letting out a harsh breath before mumbling, "Yeah," He nods, putting the squared hat on his had, not looking me in the eyes, "Sure, yeah."

I don't know what to expect when i get there. He'll either not be home or be home and off his head. Both answers don't please me in the slightest.

"I'll see you at home?" My dad mumbles, hugging me again and kissing my cheek. "Yeah, we're just going to check on Kane."

My dad sighs, nodding his head. There is a guilty look in his eyes. He's worried. Scratching his beard, he sighs, "I feel as if I've neglected him."

I don't say anything. What do I say?

"How is he?" He pushes, eyes filled with concern and curiosity, "His state?" I debate lying to him but choose not to.

"Awful," I mutter, nervously wringing my hands together, "He's absolutely awful, dad. I'm worried."

A soft smile makes it way onto his face, arms wrapping around me, "I know honey, I know. Want me to come with you? See if I can help?"

I pause, going over his words before shaking my head, sniffling, "No, I think I'll go alone." I don't want my dad to see his state. To see how I failed to take care of him.