𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

chapter 44

ISABELLE

Sucking in a deep breath, i steady myself, and turn around, an automatic, free smile, making its way onto my face.

"You ready?"

"Mhm." I nod my head a few times, excitement bursting inside of me. I'm kinda nervous too, but mostly excited. "Yes, i am. I'm ready."

Marcus smiles, an expression that you'd seen on a proud parent fills his face, and i roll my eyes playfully. His arms open and i jump into them, closing my eyes and hugging him tightly.

"Thank you." I whisper. "Thank you, so much, for everything. I love you."

"It's okay." He kisses my head, shaking the two of us as if he's excited. "I'm your brother from another cruel mother."

A laugh bubbles out of me.

"I'll miss you." I admit. "And Tom too."

"We'll miss you, more. Sorry he couldn't be here. I know he was gutted about missing this."

"It's okay," i sniffle, "I'm glad you're here and i'm glad i can do this."

Marcus grips me by the shoulders and bends down slightly, so we are eye to eye.
"You're going to get on that plan, get to your hotel, sleep, wake up tomorrow and go to that company and get that job. You're not going to think about Kane, and you're just going to be Izzy."

Be Izzy.

I nod like a weirdo, eyes blurry. I stare at one of my best friends, the person who's never left my side, and always put me first, warmth filling me. I don't deserve him. He's going to be all alone.

"No." Marc shakes his head, slapping my cheek slightly. "No— no. Get that look off your face. That's not welcome here. Off, off, off!"

I snort, heart warming. I hug him again, taking him by surprise. Marcus slowly takes in a breathe, i feel his chest move deeply, and wraps his  large arms around me, making me feel comforted.

"I'm so proud of you, Izzy. Remember that. I don't want you crying over, Kane. I didn't want to say this before you go, but i have to, or else it'll kill me."

I close my eyes tightly, my heart beginning to beat faster. It always does at the sound of Kanes name. I've been trying my best to keep myself composed at the mention of him, but it's honestly difficult. I need him. I need him too much and i've had enough of it.

i wait for Marcus' words, and he finally speaks.
"Kane is just doing what's best for him. He doesn't mean any harm, okay? Don't hate him for it. Don't hold it against him. This is his way of putting you first."

I shake my head, disagreeing, and pull away from the hug. I open my mouth to speak, but Marcus slaps a hand on my mouth, a playful expression on his face, but i see the serious look in his eyes.

"He is doing this for you, Izzy. I'm not agreeing he's approached it in the best way, but this is his dumb way of saying to put yourself first. All he wants is for you to be happy, and he knows if he doesn't do this, you truly won't be happy."

I grab his hand and move it away from my mouth, but hold it in my hand. "I would've waited." I whisper pathetically. I still want to wait for him.

A sympathetic smile fills his lips, and Marcus nods. "I know that, Izzy. He knows that and he doesn't want you throwing your life away for him. You've done enough of that. We don't know how long he'll be in rehab for."

"He's getting better."

"He is." He smiles easily, caressing my hand soothingly. "But don't worry your pretty head about him. He's in good hands, and it's time you work on yourself too, m'kay?"

I nod, rubbing my nose. He's right. I would've waited for Kane to come out, but Marcus' right. We don't know how long he was going to be in for. They didn't tell us much. Especially me.

"Have you been talking to him?"

Will Kane ignore me but speak to Marcus or Thomas? I don't think i can handle knowing that. I might not hate Kane now, but i truly will hold some type of displeasure towards him for basically leaving me out, or throwing me to the side.

Marcus takes a few seconds to reply, but he shakes his head. "No, he hasn't." He clears his throat. "Same with Tommy." I nod, grabbing my bag from the bench.

"I better get going now."

Marcus nods, a sad smile filling his face. I wish he could come with me, but he's doing well at his job and he loves it here. Him and Thomas are planning to settle down here. I cannot wait for that.

"I love you, Izzy."

"Love you too, Marc." I sniffle, tugging the strap of my bag. "I'll message you the second i land. Promise. And i'll update you."

"Good, now move, before you miss your plane and you'll be stuck here."

"Is that so bad?"

Marcus pushes me softly, rolling his eyes. "Get moving, Chilton. I wanna see the OTD pics from the interview and i wanna see the hotel view—"

Marcus begins rambling, and i grab my suitcase handle and begin rolling it, walking backwards so my eyes are on him.

"Oh, Oh! And i wanna see New York at night, and the food. Make sure you get someone to speak, cause i wanna hear their accent— hey! Oi!"

"Bye! Love you! Talk later!" I yell out, laughing when i see him stomp his foot. Marcus cups his hands around his mouth, yelling, "I hate you, and okay!"

Chuckling, a mix of sadness and happiness dwelling inside of me, i turn around and begin to walk towards my area.

I've always wanted to be a journalist. A fashion journalist, but i've held off it because i wanted to be nearer to my friends and Kane, but seeing as i can't have that anymore, it's time i fulfill it.

I've always thought me and Kane would grow up together. Ever since we became friends, we've always spoke about being next door neighbours, then to being college roommates, and then growing to be grandparents, and when i was old enough to realise i was inlove with Kane, i daydreamed we'd get married.

Guess not.

It took me years to finally admit i was inlove with Kane. I always thought, if he loved me back the same way, we'd get married and have children. The basic idea of love. I thought we'd get to have that rare love story to tell our kids. Guess not.

Kane may be my first everything, but that doesn't have to mean he's my only everything. I've experienced firsts with him, but it's time i expierience some firsts by myself. Maybe even some lasts.

"Flight to New York is departing. We ask all travelers to proceed to the departure gate." They repeat the announcement again.

I walk towards my gate, nerves running all over the place. When i finally make it to my seat, i sit down, taking in a deep breath. This is it. No turning back now.

Before i know it, they begin the process to take off.

"Hello everyone, we are beginning to take off now, so we all advice you to close and lock your tray table, ensure all bags are stowed beneath the seat in front of you or in the overhead compartment, and retract any extendable in-flight entertainment screens. Please fasten your seatbelts and switch off any devices."

I click on my seatbelt, leaning back into my chair. The air steward rambles off about other stuff and i hear my phone buzz in my pocket. A smile makes it way onto my face when i see the message.

Matt: have a safe flight, Iz! txt me when you land. miss u alrdy xx

I switch off my phone and shove into my pocket. Leaning my head against the headrest, i close my eyes and shove my earphones into my ears, some type of weight lifted off my shoulders.

This is it. I'm experiencing a first on my own, for the first time.