𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

chapter 39

ISABELLE

Sniffling, i rub my nose and stand up. Quickly rinsing off my dish, i rush back to the living room at the sound of my laptop ringing, and a automatic smile makes it way onto my face.

"Dad!"

"Izzy!" He cheers. "How are you, love? How is everything?" A weird feeling settles inside of me, but i make sure nothing shows on my face. I'm not going to stress my dad out. He's got enough going on.

"It's good dad, everything's good."

"That's good." And he starts asking questions about my plans now i've graduated and other things i've been up to. I make sure to leave certain things out and answer him with the most enthusiastic smile i can muster.

He's currently in Korea right now, and i think he's staying for three more days before his next flight.

"And how's Kane?" i blink. "What's he up to? He getting better?" i swallow, moving my laptop slightly. "Yeah, dad, he's good." He's not. In fact, i haven't heard from him in seven days.

I talk to my dad for another two hours, and then say bye. My dad shares a rota with another pilot, so right now the other pilot, Matthew Clerk, is on his holiday, which finishes in two months, and then as soon as it's finished, my dad will swap with him and get his holiday.

Grabbing my keys, and throwing on my coat, i slip my feet into my converses, and walk out the house, making sure to lock the door behind me. I walk towards the bookstore.

Kane's words still ring in my head. Every hurtful thing he's said to me these past few weeks have been replaying everyday. I've managed to believe what he said. He no longer needs me. I used him. He doesn't love me.

I shouldn't have given up on him so easily. He's not himself, but i took his words personally and left him alone, again. He's suffering and im letting him. I'm trying to save myself in the process, but letting him get scathed by himself. I'm an awful person, and i'm doing nothing to change that, but feel sorry for myself.

Reaching the bookstore, i walk inside, and say hi to the owner. Grabbing a book from the shelf, i walk to the far back, where there's a large wooden table, surrounded by chairs and beanbags, and sit on one of the chairs. Because it's so hard to find a job, i have nothing to distract myself with, except coming here.

Thomas and Marcus are both busy. Marcus got a job at a mechanics, so he's taking lessons and training for that, and Thomas, is working for a company called Emonelies, which is a massive corporation that sell cars and trucks. It's honestly really cool. It's just me that's stuck.

Sighing, i flip the page and stare. I blink. I swallow, and stare again. No words are being read nor processed. I can never focus on the words enough to be read and understood. I'm to distracted about Kane. I'm always thinking about him.

Where he is? How he is? Is he even sober? That day— it was scary. He's never yelled at me like that. The look— the look in his eyes are carved into my brain. I looked like a stranger to him. Someone who accidentally bumped into him and he wanted to knock them out. He no longer cared about me.

My book closes with a slap, and i rush out the bookstore, a empty feeling wallowing in my chest. The sound of the traffic gets loud, and my legs start to feel like jelly. I urge myself to calm down. I cannot have a panic attack right now. Not again.

Fisting my hands, i count down from ten, and walk slowly, willing myself to pay attention to other things rather than my thoughts. And i stop mid step when seeing him stood there.

Wearing a cap, covering in black joggers and a hoodie, he leans against the brick wall, seeming dazed and waiting for something. Someone. What's he doing? My feet move on their own accord.