All Of Us Are Ghosts Here (Jegulus / Wolfstar Fic)

Twenty-Two ~ The Whispers In The Dark

James~

T.W: Alchohol consumtion 

James Potter didn't make bad decisions often, but when he did, they always happened as a result of serious stress.

In case it wasn't obvious, James was in the mood for some bad decisions.

There was a roof accessible from their dorm room. It wasn't very big, just a thin strip of shingles, but it connected to a larger roof. It was the one outside the charms room, he thought. He wasn't sure though.

That's where James found himself late that night, a half-empty bottle of Firewhiskey that Sirius smuggled into school clutched in one hand.

He wasn't sure why, but he kept glancing at the two-way mirror.

No, that was bullshit. He knew exactly why he kept looking at it: the boy on the other end.

That boy with his dark curls and shy smile, that boy whose presence in a room made it so hard for him to think. It was strange, how alike he and his brother looked. So similar, and yet entirely different. Like how their eyes were both gray, but Sirius' bordered on blue while Regulus had those cool gunmetal gray ones. James loved his eyes.

And his laugh, Merlin help him. His Regulus didn't laugh often, but when he did, the whole world stopped to listen. It was magical. Regulus was magical.

Regulus had been his, once. Why wasn't he anymore? James couldn't remember. Whatever the reason, it must have been stupid.

Actually, James should talk to him. Like right now. So, he picked up his mirror.

"Regulus? Reg? Reggie?"

There was a shuffling noise, a light came on, and then Regulus' face came into view, his hair mussed from sleep.

"James? Fucking hell, what time is it?"

"Uhhh, sometime after three, I think?" He scratched his head. He'd come outside at midnight, and it had to have been a while since then.

"Why are you waking me up so late? Is everything alright?" James heard more rustling as Regulus sat up.

"Oh yeah, everything's great." He grinned. "I just missed you."

"Shit, James. Have you been drinking?"

"Only a little bit," He said as he held the bottle up for Reg to see.

"That's more than a little bit." Regulus sighed. "Okay, where are you?"

"On the roof. It's pretty out here."

There was a muffled swear and Regulus started moving, but James couldn't see what he was doing.

"Which roof?"

"I think it's outside the charms room? I don't know," he shrugged.

"Shit. Okay, stay right where you are. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay, love."

...

True to his word, five minutes later James heard a window slide open behind him, and he turned to look, a grin on his face.

"You came!"

"Of course I came, someone needs to make sure you don't die. What are you doing out here, James? It's dangerous." Regulus was moving closer to him.

"The stars look really pretty from up here," he said as Regulus sat down next to him.

"So you're risking your life to look at the stars?"

"Well... no. I needed to think."

"About what?"

"You."

Regulus looked away from him. "Why are you thinking about me?"

"Because you're beautiful and I miss you." James really hadn't meant to say all of that, but he had, and he couldn't bring himself to feel embarrassed about it. It was true, wasn't it?

"Let's get you inside, James. It's not safe out here." James might have been wrong, but he could have sworn Regulus' cheeks were tinted pink.

"Just a few more minutes? Pretty please?"

Regulus sighed, but didn't make any move to stand. The two sat in silence, Regulus looking at the stars and James looking at him.

"Hey Reggie?"

The boy turned his head to look at him again. "Yeah?"
"I miss you." This had to have been the third or fourth time he said it, but it was true. He missed his star so damn much it was hard to focus on anything else sometimes.

"I'm right here."

"That's not what I mean."

"Then what do you mean, James?" But it was obvious Regulus knew exactly what he meant by the way he wouldn't meet James' eyes.

"I miss you," he repeated. "I miss meeting up with you. I miss talking to you, actually talking to you. Not the bullshit we've been doing. I miss hearing you laugh. I miss you."

Regulus swallowed and looked back up toward the sky. "I miss you too," He said, so softly that James was only barely able to hear it.

"Then why can't we-"

"Because it's not that simple, James. And it doesn't matter anyways because in the morning you'll be back to your senses and you won't even remember that this happened, so there's no point in even talking about it." And Regulus didn't sound angry as he said it, just sad. Resigned. It hurt his heart.

James held his bottle out. Regulus looked at it warily for a second before taking it. He made a face as he took a drink.

"I'm sorry, Reg."

Finally, Regulus looked at him again. "I know."

...

Regulus convinced him to go back inside a few minutes later, and insisted on walking him back to the Gryffindor dorms.

When it was clear that James wasn't steady on his own, Regulus wrapped an arm around him to hold him up.

It took them a while to get to the dorms, and James was so tired that he just flopped down on a couch in the common room.

James was already half asleep whe Regulus leaned down.

"I wish things were simpler," he whispered, brushing a stray strand of hair off of his forehead.

The next James knew, it was dawn and he was alone, left with a hangover and a head filled with memories.

((All of  this book, but this part in particular, is dedicated to my sister @SeethingSeas . For listening to me complain about writers block, sitting through endless hours of television while I work, and always suggesting I add a gratuitous handjob to the story when I'm not sure what comes next. 

She had a big part in helping me write this part, It's only right I give her some recognition. It's no handjob, but it's something.))