One ~ The Beginning

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Sirius~

TW: None for this part, lmk if you see something I should mark.

The station smelled like sweat and fear.

The station always smelled horrible, the cram of bodies jostling to board made it impossible to get a breath of fresh air. It was worse this year, somehow. The subtle tang of fear coating everything, the tears shed by parents and children alike not just over having to leave each other. The war made everyone nervous about leaving, about saying goodbye. It made him nervous too, but he probably would have died before admitting it.

Sirius stood with the Potters, Fleamont and Effie arguing with James over something next to him as he scanned the crowd. He wasn't looking for just two faces this year, but three.

Regulus.

...

His letter came a week into the summer, Sirius' second with the Potters. It was short and to the point, no pleasantries or fluff to lighten the blow of his words.

Sirius,

Sent by muggle post, hope it arrives. Don't reply, mother would know. I want out. I know you hate me, but I want out. I'll find you on the train.

If you ever loved me, help me. Keep hating me, but help me. Don't let me die here.

-R.A.B

He hadn't heard anything since. His brother needed help, and it took everything in him not to go straight to Grimmauld Place the second the letter arrived. James was really the only thing that kept him from leaving right then and there. His brother needed help. His brother wanted help.

At that moment, it didn't matter that Reg had stood by during those years he lived at Grimmauld Place. It didn't matter that he never stepped in. It didn't matter that he didn't tell anybody. It didn't matter because he wanted help. None of it mattered because his baby brother was coming home.

He'd like to stay it still didn't matter. He'd like to say he's moved past it, that all was forgiven.

Sirius Black was many things, but a liar has never been one of them. So he couldn't say everything would be fine between the brothers. He very much doubted things would ever be alright between them.

Far too much had changed.

...

He saw Remus first. He always saw Remus first.

Of course, Remus was nearly a head taller than everyone else in their year. It certainly helped, but that wasn't the reason he always found him first in a crowd.

He couldn't admit to himself the reason he always found Remus first in the crowd.

Pushing those thoughts away, Sirius climbed on top of the nearest bench, waving his arms.

"MOONY!" he yelled, looking like a complete fool and not caring. To his credit, the brown-haired boy looked amused by Sirius' antics. The short boy next to him did not. "PETE, YOU TOO! GET YOUR LAZY ARSES OVER HERE!"

He lost sight of his friends as Effie pulled him off the bench.

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