CRAVE (The Escort)

Chapter 73

I see light, a bright ray that shines from above. It's almost as if I can feel the warm of the light embracing me. It's healing...nurturing at best. The tickling of the wind through my hair feels like fingers running smoothly through it. This touch is delicate. Comforting. Guarding.

And as I seep deeper into this unknown dream, I hear a sweet voice guiding as it speaks to me.

"I know your scared. But I also know you'll do remarkable things..."

Remarkable....

I can barely get my shit together with everything that's happening to me.

"Doubt and Fear are mankind's worst enemy. Two illusions we create that works on our minds, preventing us from being who we truly are."

I don't know who I am. And at this point in my life, I can even say where I belong. What am I doing here? I feel like inanimate. Like a buoy floating in the ocean with no place to go. The waves me move beneath but still...nothing. My life feels no longer own. So how can I navigate through it being stapled into one place?

My question drew a long pause between myself and this so-called light. I was sure conscience had a play in all of this. However, though this was a dream, I was sure everything within it felt real. For the moment it seemed my dream has finally ended, I am soon transported to a large garden overlooking waters that looked like the sea. And with my hands pressed against cement easing myself upwards, I turn to meet a tiered fountain standing behind me.

The light around it luminated a warm glow and as I stepped back and around it, I am face to face with someone who I'd hope to meet at least once in the lifetime.

"Your full of doubt little one. Did your father teach you to think like this?" The person asks and my lips quiver to sustain an answer. "Honestly..., where do I even begin."

"Ma-mm...m-...mom?" I trembled as tears d fell from my eyes.

"Oh..., how I've longed to hear you call me by that name." My mother says wiping my tears as I gazed at me. "Look at you. You've grown so much! I never thought I'd ever get the chance to see you like this. But here we are." She softly speaks bringing me into her arms and immediately, everything around me was brighter and clearer. It's as if this little world I was in accepted me as one of its own.

This affection that now flowed over me was a feeling of true warmth and love I haven't experienced in the longest time.

It felt familiar but it also surprised me of how much I was yearning for the kind of touch all along.

The affection of love and comfort a mother gives to child, is one of the best feelings anyone on the earth can come across of.

The one person who will always be there for you no matter what the cost or distance.

Of course, there was a small part of me that believed my subconsciousness grew this world for me. But for now...I'd like to believe that my mother came a great distance to be there for me.

"I don't know what to do. My life..., myself..., the person I grew up knowing...she doesn't exist. I feel like I no longer exist." I expressed curling into her arms. "I feel so lost and tired mom. It doesn't stop. I just want to live. I just want peace. Yet here I am being pulled left and right by everyone while not knowing which direction to really go in and why! I want it to stop. But how do I do so without even knowing where to begin? I don't want to live a life that's not my own..., however...., why does it feel like that's exactly what's about to happen?" I ask and I hear her breath in deeply. "It scares me..., the unknown."