Say You Want Me

Fallen Angel

His mind wouldn't stop spinning. He's never felt desperate the way he does now. He'd do anything for her to be okay, but he couldn't control what happens next and he hated that fact. Ride to the hospital was agonizing. He sat there as they put tubes in her mouth, needles, and monitors beeping each of her vital signs. They asked questions that he thought he gave answers to, while she laid there, unmoved. Each second that came to pass, piece of his soul left. He wished he turned the wheel sooner and in the opposite direction or left ten minutes later then they had. Should've told her those three magic words, so many things he should've done, but he failed at each one. They made it to the hospital, and he held her hand until he had to let go. The minute his skin lost contact with hers, he felt he would collapse like bricks, not knowing if she'd be okay or when he could see her again. Darnell, Kianna, Trey, Grace, Carter, and Spencer, sat together in the waiting room. Spencer recounted the details of the accident as best he could to authorities that arrived. Kianna and Grace kept an constant stream of tears. Trey and Darnell offered silent support to their sibling, grasping his shoulder, saying he wasn't the blame for what happened, but he ignored that and kept an conversation as an effort to unrattle his nerves. How the deer sent the car spinning, roads being an perfect storm to that, and how he couldn't get the car to turn to safety.

"There wasn't anything you could've done" Trey tried to reassure him.

"None of us could've stopped that deer, Spencer"

"If anything happens to her...." Darnell gripped his arm.

"They're taking care of her in the best ways, trust me"

They took Olivia into immediate emergency  surgery, explaining the baby being in distress, finding signs of internal bleeding. He tried asking questions, but they insisted on getting her in there and promised him, that they would be out shortly. All he could do now is pray for an miracle. Praying was one thing, the effect hits when your able to fully believe in what your praying. He did that, holding his mom's hand trying to remain strong for them, his girls. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her beaming face, how happy she was talking about names, just three hours ago, sitting on an porch swing, rubbing her belly and her face full of life. He was here physically, but internally, he was dying an slow death. Seconds turned into minutes fading into hours, more time goes, and he was petrified. An door would open and each time, his heart would stop. Everytime they talked to an family that wasn't them, more pieces of his heart broke.

"I can't just sit here!" He stood, needing to move around.

"I can't just sit here and wait for them to tell me the worse"

He was shattering, breaking down, could feel it in his bones. An pained sound ripped from his throat as Trey embraced him.

"I'm not waiting for her to die!"

"Don't talk like that bro, you gotta stay strong, have faith, brother"

Faith.

Kianna released an sob at that word, knowing good and well this was what Olivia wanted their little girl to be named.

"She has to be okay, I need to talk to her" Trey held an firm grip to his shoulders.

"We know, doctors are working on it. No news could be good news, Spencer. That means she's fighting"

Spencer stared at him with blurred vision.

"I can't...I can't lose her like this" If he said it enough, he thought maybe the world would understand, that he could will it to be true.

"They're doing everything they can" His oldest brother said with conviction.

"It's my fault, I was driving that car, I wanted to take my truck, but she didn't want to climb in and out of it. So, I allowed her to convince me to take hers! Now here we are! Look where that's led us! I should've taken my truck once I saw the rain. I should've done something to prevent this!"