I Wanna Love You But I Don't

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I walked into the Thrombey house unsure as to why I was invited to a dinner party, I knew it was a birthday dinner but Ransom Drysdale and I had broken a week ago and I had no need to be here. I knocked and waited for someone to answer the door, once it opened, I sighed seeing Ransom.

"Hey! You made it!" Ransom said, grabbed my hand and pulled me into a kiss. Screw this man, he knew

how to bring me back in. I pushed him off gently and just looked at him.

"What the shit Ransom?" I asked in a whisper and he pulled me into Harlan's, His grandfather's office.

"Faith, I need you to be with me." Ransom said and I just looked at him

"Excuse me?" I asked confused.

"Mom, Harlan, the family doesn't know we broke up and they were asking where you were." Ransom said and I shook my head.

"Ransom, you need to tell them. I can't bail you out this time." I said and he sighed.

"Please Faith, do this one thing for me." Ransom begged.

"It's always one thing for you Ransom...what about what I want?!" I asked upset as tears filled my eyes

and he looked at the floor.

"I'm not ready to commit Faith..." Ransom said and I huffed a laugh.

"So as always it's 'Faith come save my ass one more time but you get shit in process.' That's awesome Ransom, I'm used to it." I said and he groaned.

"If that's the attitude you are going to have..." Ransom trailed off.

"It will always be my attitude now Ransom! It's always about what you want! You know what though, I will go out there and be the good doting girlfriend and make everyone believe we are in love and still together." I said.

"But after tonight, I am done. You will have to tell everyone the truth on your own. I wont come again." I continued and he groaned but I went to leave the office and when I opened the door Harlan, Ransom's grandfather was standing there and smiled seeing Ransom and I.

"What were you two doing in there?" Harlan asked as Ransom came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist and I sighed.

"I needed a minute with my girl before I threw her into a room of all you crazies." Ransom said and I smiled. I got out of Ransom's grip and walked up to Harlan and kissed his cheek.

"Happy Birthday Harlan." I said and he smiled at me.

"Escort an old man into the sitting room?" He asked and extended his arm.

"I would love to." I said as I linked his arm and we walked into the sitting room where the whole family was, Ransom was right behind us.

"Faith! You made it! We were so worried." Linda, Ransom's mother said as I walked over to her and gave her a hug and she kissed my cheek. I said hello to everyone else that spoke and Ransom brought me over a glass of wine.

"Anything stronger?" I asked him and he shook his head.

"No." He said as he went to take a sip of the whiskey he poured himself and I glared at him. I knew he got me wine because it wouldn't make me drunk. I took his whiskey from him and took a sip.

"Asshole." I whispered. I handed him back his whiskey.

"Is there trouble in paradise you two?" Joni, Ransom's aunt by marriage asked. None of us could stand her with all her knew age thinking and sponging off the family for years since her husband who was Harlan's son died.

"Up your ass Joni." Ransom said and I sighed knowing he was starting to spiral.

"Ransom stop." I mumbled and he just looked at me and shook his head. I had since sat by his mother and he was sitting on the arm of the couch by me.

"I just think it's funny how Faith wasn't here and then Ransom disappears, makes a phone call and she shows up. No one else see's it?" Joni asked and I groaned.

"Eat shit Joni." I said and everyone just looked at me in shock.

"Eat shit?! What?!" Joni asked shocked. Ransom looked at me and smiled.

"That's my girl." Ransom said and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"I should slap that smug smile right off your face." Joni said and me and I sat forward on the couch.

"Bring it." I said to Joni and she stood up and I went to stand but Ransom stopped me.

"Enough! Joni, leave Faith alone. Ransom told me she would be late. He left to call her to check on where she was." Harlan spoke up. Ransom and I knew it was a lie but we let him have it. Joni sat back down but was glaring at me. Before anything else could be said Fran came walking in, Fran took care of things in the house.

"The cook would like me to tell you that dinner is served." Fran said and we all got up and Ransom took my hand as we walked into the dining room. I stopped him as everyone else walked in.

"Ransom, I can't do this..." I whispered and he sighed.

"Just a few more hours." Ransom said and I half nodded and we walked into the dining room and took our seats around the table. Dinner passed by uneventful and Ransom and I seemed to be able to pull off being a couple in front of everyone. Soon after dinner I disappeared from the family and went to the library. The most calming room of the house.

"I knew I would find you in here." Ransom said.

"Do you remember when we started dating and you brought me over for the 4th of July?" I asked and Ransom smiled.

"Yeah we played that game of Mafia and you were horrible at it and basically gave everyone away." Ransom said and we both huffed a laugh.

"Where did we go wrong Ransom? Why don't you want to get engaged or married? Am I not what you want anymore?" I asked and Ransom couldn't answer.

"I heard a song on the way here that made me pull off on the side of the road because it described how I feel about you and me right now. Can I play it for you?" I asked pointing to the piano and Ransom nodded. I sat down on the bench and sighed.

🎵 I think it sucks that you're perfect
Cause you're not perfect for me
And though you kill me with kindness
It ain't the kind that I need
I know we look good on paper
Until you give us a read
Cause when we pull back the curtains
There ain't a whole lot to see

I wanna love you, but I don't
I wanna need you, but I won't
I begged my heart to start to race when I'm kissing you
I say, "I'm dreaming 'bout your face", but it isn't you

And I'm not trying to change you
But it's just not in the stars
I know there's somebody out there
To love you just as you are
When you finally find that someone who fits you right
You'rе gonna see I couldn't be her no matter how hard I try
I know I wanna love you, but I-
I wanna love you, but I-

I wanna love you, but I don't
I wanna need you, but I won't
I begged my heart to start to race when I'm kissing you
I say I'm dreaming 'bout your face, but it isn't you
I wanna love you, but I don't
You gotta let me let you go
Cause I can't look you in the eye for another day
Won't stay forever, so goodbye is the only way
I wanna love you, but I don't

I wanna love you, but I don't
I wanna need you, but I won't
I beg my heart to start to race when I'm kissing you
I say I'm dreaming 'bout your face, but it isn't you
I wanna love you, but I don't
You gotta let me let you go
Cause I can't look you in the eye for another day
Won't stay forever, so goodbye is the only way
I wanna love you, but I don't

I wanna love you, but I don't
I wanna love you, I wanna, wanna
🎵

Once I was done I had some tears rolling down my cheeks and I stood up seeing Ransom looking at the floor. I walked up to him, kissed his cheek. I then noticed his whole family heard and was standing by the door to the library.

"Goodbye Ransom. I hope you have a good life, since you didn't want it with me." I said and walked out leaving him standing there as I heard his family start bombarding him with questions. 

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