finding me while loving you

part 24

Grace's POV

I could barely sleep all night. I kept tossing and turning, anxiety so strong in my chest, and crying all night long. I just wanted to talk to her, I wanted to apologize, I wanted to make this all right. I feel like an idiot, I feel stupid, and I feel like I lost her.

I hate that I hurt her. I hate that I hurt her more than once. I hate that I preach about healthy love all the time but I haven't been giving it to her lately. I went into work at 6am and planned on staying here all day, so I could at least keep my mind busy. Demi never let me know when she landed, which is fucking frustrating, but luckily she didn't turn her location off so I knew she was at home. I can't help but wonder what's she's doing, how she's doing, and what she's up to. I feel so guilty and I feel like I messed everything up. The concept of "space" is so hard. I just want us to talk this through, but I can't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. I put my phone in my locker, and headed out to the floor for a few more hours.

As hours passed by and I kept frantically checking my phone, I still hadn't heard anything from Demi. It was going on 6pm, and I was heading home for the day. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that she is okay without talking to me. She seems to be doing this so easily and that hurts me.

"Hi, sweetheart." My mom said as I walked in. I set my bag down, walking over to her. She wrapped me in her arms, giving me the warmest hug. "Oh, you're stinky, Gracie girl." I laughed out loud at her comment, letting go of the hug.

"It was such a busy day. You know what it's like working with dementia residents. Plus, it's at least 85 degrees in there."

She nodded her head, agreeing. "Go upstairs and shower and then come back down. I'll make you something to eat, sweetie."

I went upstairs and into my bathroom, getting undressed. I stepped into the hot water, instantly getting flashbacks of every shower I took with Demi. She was just here. And now I haven't heard from her in 24 hours. Sobs took over my body, and I felt empty. I felt like a part of me was ripped out of my body and I can't do anything to fill that void. I let myself cry while I washed my hair and body, truly just taking a minute for myself.

I got out, checking my phone in hopes of my girlfriend reaching out to me, but like usual, there was nothing. I put pajama and lotion on and headed back downstairs.

"Dad?! Wait, what? Why are you home?" I questioned, feeling very confused that he was home so early.

"Hi, sweetie!" He said, standing up to give me a big hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." I told him honestly. I sat down next to him, him first asking questions about Demi, trying to understand the situation. Before I knew it Carson and Penelope walked in, sitting down.

"What'd ya want us here for, Dad? How come you're home so early?" Carson asked.

I felt my stomach drop, feeling like something bad was going to happen. Dad's home early and he asked all of the older kids to come home.

"Dad! What's happening? This can't be good." I spoke frantically.

"Yeah, I'm kinda freaked out. What's going on?" P asked.

Mom came back in, sitting next to me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulder, pulling me closer to her.

"Grandpa passed away, kiddos." My dad spoke quietly. It was unexpected and random, but I found out this morning and immediately flew home."

"What?!" Carson yelled out. "You're lying! Tell me you're lying!"

"Buddy, I'm not lying." My dad said, tears coming to his eyes.