finding me while loving you

part 38

Demi's POV

Time flew by once again and a few weeks had passed. Things have been insanely busy for the both of us, but things have been better. We don't see each other much right now besides literally sleeping together at night. It was currently about 6:30 in the morning and I was laying next to Grace who was turned away from me sound asleep. I was supposed to work today but I decided to take the next few days off, especially because Grace has the next few days off. I lifted my hand to run my fingers through her soft hair and down her exposed back, sulking in every ounce of her soft skin.

"I'll never get tired of you doing that." I heard her whisper ever so lightly.

"Why are you awake, baby?" I questioned, continuing to play with her hair.

"I always wake up when you stop holding me."

I sighed, feeling bad although I don't think she meant for me too. I grabbed her hips, pulling her close to me and letting her be the little spoon. I kissed her shoulder a few times and enjoyed the closeness.

"Is it time for you to get up for work?"

"I'm not gonna go to work today."

"What?" She turned her head to look at me. "I thought you were finalizing tour stuff today."

"No. I mean I should but it'll be there when I get back. I just need you more right now." My voice cracked with the last sentence and I was unaware of how emotional I was really feeling.

"Oh, Dems." Gracie turned to lay on her back, lifting her arm so I could lay my head on her chest. I nuzzled my face into her neck and she immediately started to rub my head. "What're you thinking about?"

"I'm just missing you, I guess. I miss spending legitimate time with you, not just cuddling while we sleep at night." I told her. "Not that I don't love that! I love holding each other every night and I'm so grateful for it I'm not meanin-"

Gracie cut me off by lifting my chin and pressing her soft lips against mine.

"Slow down, baby. I understand what you're saying completely. We've done a good job figuring out how to make time for each other but that doesn't mean we don't need more time. I miss you, too. I really do."

I don't know what happened or what took over me, but I just broke down into sobs. I dug my face back into her neck and squeezed myself to her, tears flowing.

"Oh, baby. What is going on? I'm right here. I'm here with you. What has you so worked up?" Gracie was running her hands up and down my back and into my hair, doing whatever to try to make me feel better. "Please talk to me."

"I'm so afraid of touring. I'm genuinely - fuck, Gracie, I'm SO afraid of being away from you. It's going to be the longest 6 months and I know we'll see each other occasionally, but we're gonna be spending those 6 months living completely separate lives."

"I know, baby. I understand-"

"But Gracie, look at our track record. Even when we are living together and seeing each other on a daily basis, we still have had such explosive, over the top arguments and so many big emotions towards each other. What are we going to do when we are in different countries for months at a time?"

"We literally just have to take it day by day. That's all we can do."

"You couldn't even handle it when I was busy at the studio and would be gone from sunrise to sunset. How mad are you going to be at me when I'm on the road and you don't see me for weeks?" I cried harder, letting loose all of these emotions I guess I was holding in. "I leave so soon and we don't even have the time to really spend with each other with your NCLEX exam coming up. It's still ridiculous you scheduled it right before I'm supposed to leave."