My life

Oh yeah

Literally what a coincidence it's been exactly 1 year since I've updated here that's crazy I didn't even plan it 🤯🤯🤯

Anyways here some updates:
• Graduated high school 😱
• Gained weight 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
• Got a new job

That's all kinda also I've been second guessing my relationship with my boyfriend which is crazy cuz I'm the beginning of this Wattpad or whatever i was literally talking about how I had a crush on him and now we've been dating for almost 3 years 😤

Like for reals maybe I'm just being judgmental or selfish but he's soo cheap and doesn't think about me enough. He's never romantic (Most of the time on the RARE occasion that he will)  And whenever he does get me things a lot of the times it's things that I don't like which I'm not being ungrateful or anything because I really do appreciate them it's just like maybe take a sneak peak into my Instagram saves or smth...

And he's a gamer boy who stays up late sometimes until 7am and wakes up in the afternoon/evening a lot. These days it's getting better kinda but then he'll wake up at 2pm then we'll hangout at 3-4pm and he'll complain about how he's "so tired" even though I've been up since 8am and just got off work. It's like he needs to grow up? He is going to college though so that's pretty grown up but in other cases like I know some people work 2+ jobs in collage and still get good grades and have time to party so I know he could be doing more but at the same time someone's limit can be much more or much less than someone else's so it's like I don't mean to compare but I'm not trying to be bare minimum and date a jobless guy? Like he complains how I won't buy him things and I tell him I have to save my money then he'll bash on me like ohhh if you have to save money then why are you spending $50 on take out every other day and buying clothes and etc. and it's like because I can period. My money I'll spend it how I want to you have no say. Like if course I tell him in a nice way but it's soo irritating like yk? Then he'll judge on how I spend a lot of money on makeup or clothes and tell me to spend less money then he'll spend $500 on some random hobby that he'll be into for a few months then grow out of it and never use it again 🙃

I think I'm just gonna change this into a life venting space for me now 😭😭

Anyways I'm kinda at a breaking point now? Tbh I kinda always am idk 🤷‍♀️ But I weighed myself yesterday and this is the highest weight I've EVER been my entire life and I mean I've only lived for so long but still. I'm a little over 151lbs and I'm so big 🥲. It saying people who weight 150 pounds are big but for ME I'm so big. Body positivity you guys (For everyone but me 🤪)

Anyways I'm so over fad diets and depression I've always lived that way so I want to change like I'm so over failing my diets and shit come on I don't want to live like this forever no one does.

Before I'd have 0-500 calories a day then have a few days where I'd binge 3,000 calories and it goes on and on and these days I'm tempted to go back into that and even fasting but I have a job so I need to eat for everything because fuck work hate that place and some of the people there so I best at least have a full stomach while I'm there. Oh and also in the time I've been gonna got a dog but then was so busy with school and work and balancing it with my relationship so my dog ended up bonding with my sister 🥲 So then I got a new dog and few weeks and so I need to eat to have energy to take care of her because this time I will be a good dog mom 😤😌 And feeling hungry is a really bad feeling so I'm trying to chill on fad diets and stuff so I came up with my own diet plans for a while but since I'm at my heaviest right now I'm gonna try to stick to it the best I can 💪💪💪

Please give me some relationship advice if y'all can lol 😭😭😭