Anamnesis of a Love's Eclipse (COMPLETED)

EPILOGUE

ZILLA

Out that day, when I got out of the Herst Keep Palace for the first time, I felt sure I'd be smiling and happy all over again and having found a purpose to keep breathing.

I hadn't ever apparently told anyone that the pain and misery I was with during those stages was just too much for me to face. I simply sobbed quietly for once and the vast majority of the rest of such lonely nights were wasted struggling to hide almost all my sentiments. Then suddenly I realized that he perished quietly, without any further hardships. I felt relieved with that. What about me, though? In the night sky, I was all alone. My home and bliss both have escaped me.

I was then there again in the midst of chaos through the greyest chapter of my existence at that day. I was troubled out over everything, it really was daunting for me to catch a breath of air, and I simply wanted to sleep and never wake up again.

But then the door slowly opened and there he was.

I was all so mesmerized. It was as if a door was opened and then I saw him sprinting across an emerald hill abounding of spring flowers, whereas the birds whistle sounded so serene. It must have been him who came around the corner to see me and kissed my tears away, like he's just assuring me that it would be him who will bring me another hope and chance to exist anew.

Because of him, I was able to keep normal breathing. I promised myself that I'd look after him and witness him grow and bloom just like a fruit of hope. His embraces have been so lovely and warm, his voices have been so serene to my hearing, and his scent was just like the fresh air I needed for survival. I honestly felt his love for me and it was unfathomable. I prayed and prayed so hard at times, speaking to the clouds in the sky, literally crying to the stars and galaxies, and shouting to the entire universe to please let him stay with me for a long amount of time, till it's time for me to just go to the afterlife.

However, horrible tragedy may have been the depiction of my existence.

He has left the scene. He disappeared without my embrace and I couldn't accept it. I couldn't stop crying over him and I couldn't quit thinking about him. My life's deep love has surrendered me in this vast universe of unknowns and distress. I am not sure how I am going to make up for this kind of another shortfall right now.

I am not sure how to gently bid farewell the moment that he has chosen to leave. But I hope he knows I offer an apology for the frosty embraces I have given him whenever he threw me a warm and safe one. I hope he knows that I sincerely apologize for pouring tears of sorrow into his cheeks as he brushed mine away. And that I am ashamed that I wasn't capable of giving him the fondness he granted me—unhappy that I was the only one who survived at this time.

Nevertheless, may he rest easy knowing that I will never forget about him. I'd forever keep in mind how we made it through a lot of wars, throughout peaks and valleys, surviving numbers of hurricanes and hailstorms, overcoming famines and river floodings, fighting for life, but regrettably, not inevitable death.

And yet now, he can wander freely without my chains of holding him back. As I know for sure, I'll always and eternally love him.

"Do you want me to talk to Agapius and set you up on a date?" Aella cracked a joke as she arrived the fortress.

"Do you dare?" I scoffed at her.

For years, she continuously troubled me, pushing me to match someone new and be actually happy again. Nevertheless, I told her, and I did promise myself that I'd never ever simply offer my heart if not for him.

"Of course not, I was mostly just trying to kid." Aella responded with a yawn.

I scoffed again and shook my head as I started to roll the paper—it's a letter I wrote for Lowell that I intend to fly in a lantern once again.