Only for you darling

18.

                         18. Save me uncle!

Joel

It's wednesday night, about 11pm. I've been home for the whole day, just writing some lyrics and trying to take naps. But it's been pointless. Trying to sleep I mean. Last night I only slept an hour. But writing those lyrics have been quite nice.
For now I will not tell to boys what I've been doing, it's only for fun, killing time.
Tomorrow we would go to the party place where we will spend the weddings on friday, after the ceremony in church. We'll do some last decorations and stuff, Eevi and Olli have been there for two days with Joonas and Eevi's and Niko's mother, and Niko has been there too. Right now Joonas is on my couch, listening to music from his headphones. He's been doing much better after the news what Eevi and Olli told us. Joonas is quite excited about the upcoming baby.
I'm happy for them, Olli and Eevi deserves everything good in life.
But my mind is in other things.. or.. she's not a thing. A living human, beautiful and wonderful Freya. I almost think about her all the time. And I miss her smile, touch and just everything.

I sat on the edge of my bed, and I took my phone from the charger. I opened messenger, and I pressed the conversation of me and Freya.
I don't know if she's still awake, but I'll try my luck.
Me: Evening. What are you up to?
I somehow started nervously biting my nails when I send that, I was impatient, and my right leg was shaking. I needed her closure, I needed her everything. I think I'm not going to get any sleep tonight without her presence. Maybe I sound selfish, but I feel empty without her.
It didn't took long when my phone buzzed in my hand.
Freya: Hey handsome :) I'm going to sleep soon.. are you okay?
My small smile appeared on my face while I read that, I started typing back fastly.
Me: Insomnia. Would you want to be my sleeping pill? A hugging one?
I stood up and walked out of my bedroom door, I watched Joonas from further away, and he had his eyes closed. But he still had his headphones on, I don't know if he's asleep, or just resting his eyes.
I quickly looked down at my phone, Freya has answered.

Freya: I would love to. What about Joonas?
I smiled relieved.
Me: I think he's sleeping. Don't ring the doorbell. I miss you.
I observed Joonas for the whole time, just making sure that he will not open his eyes. I took very slow and quiet steps towards the hallway, keeping an eye on him.
Freya: I leave now. Miss you too.
I smiled again when I saw her text. I put the phone on my jeans pocket while I made my way towards the hallway.
But I stumbled to my feet, and I had to take some support from the wall. Then I freezed and holded my breath. Joonas didn't react. He was breathing heavily, so I think he's sleeping. I hope he's listening some pure death metal so he don't hear a thing.

It took a bit over ten minutes when I heard a very gentle and quiet two knocks on the door. I made my way there and opened it, and the light from the stairwell lightened a bit of my apartment too. I smiled widely when I saw her, and she did too.
She stepped in and quietly closed the door behind her. I took couple steps towards to see if Joonas was still on his place. And he was. Freya was standing behind me when I felt her hands around my body.
I turned around smiling, and her brown eyes made my heart melt. Every time it does the same.
"Shall we go to sleep..?" She whispered. I nodded and let go of her, she walked in front of me quietly with her shoes on her other hand.

She was in my dark room first when I heard Joonas moving in the couch. Quickly I turned around, eyes wide open.
"Joel..?" Joonas mumbled, rubbing his eyes after he took off his headphones.
"Yeah?" I acted casual as I put my right hand on the door frame, leaning on it. He looked like that he just woke up.
"Good night..." He said tired, turning around and pulling that blanket better on top of him.
"Good night." I wished him the same, and then I went to my room, closing the door behind me completely.
Freya has taken her jacket off, and now she was sitting on the bed. I scratched my scalp, I had a bit dirty hair.
"Did you have a rough day?" Freya asked whispering. She spread her hands, it was a sign for me to join her.
I groaned as I crawled to her, she placed her hands on my cheeks, cupping my face. She slided down on her back under me while I supported myself up with both of my hands next to her head.