Death In The Family (Red vs Blue x Male OC)

S2•E14 - An Audience of Dumb

Sheila and Lopez were approaching Red Base. Tucker was still driving Sheila and doing a terrible job at it. Seem like he never really took driving classes.

Tucker: Ahh, Sheila we have to slow down or we're gonna run into that jeep!

Sheila: Please take evasive action. Please take evasive action.

Tucker: You take evasive action! Hey, Lopez, help me out! Can't you talk to her?

Lopez: [Sorry. I'm not good at talking to beautiful women. I get sweaty.]

Ash: I told you I should have drove!

Meanwhile Grif and Donut were crouching behind the jeep. Hoping to be safe but it didn't seem like it. How did they not figure that they could just make a break for it considering the tank moves pretty slow?

Donut: Well old buddy, it looks like this is the end for us. Since we're going to die anyway, there's only one thing left for us to do. Grif-

Grif: If you actually suggest what I think you're about to suggest, I'll just have to kill myself.

Donut: -lets make a break for it!

Grif: Whew! In that case lets go on 3. That's worked well for me in the past.

Donut: Okay, you count.

Grif: Fine, but don't look at me while I count because I get nervous. (he turns around and Donut stands up) 1....(Donut runs away) 2.....(he turns around and sees Donut running) That son of a bitch, he beat me at my own game. Curses!

The next moment was a blur to Grif as Sheila rams into the jeep, blowing it up and sending Grif and Lopez flying. Lopez yells in surprise of the explosion as he lands in a pool of Grifs Blood with Ash having jumped off Sheila before she hit the base. Meanwhile Grif was splattered on the ground. Meanwhile Sheila was covered by dust and rock lifted by the explosion. Donut managed to escape and runs inside the base, running up to Sarge and Simmons panting heavily.

Sarge: Good golly Miss Molly! What is going on out there?

Donut: (Panting as he speaks) Sir, the blues are attacking with their tank! They-they blew up the Warthog, again.

Simmons: I wonder what jeeps ever did to those guys.

Donut: Grif and I just barely had enough time to make it out of there. Right Grif? ....uhh, Grif?

Evelyn didn't pay attention as she got a notification on her HUD. A message.

*-*-*
Caboose's mind

The search for O'Malley had began. The visitors having paired up with the mental images.

Church: (to Caboose's mental image of Church) Why the hell did they pair me up with you? At least Caboose's version of Ash seems tolerable.

Mental-Church: I wanted to keep my eye on you. I don't trust giantic turds trying to steal my best friend, you rimjob!

Mental-Church runs ahead. Church then turns to Caboose's mental image of Ash.

Church: ...Is he always like that?

Mental-Ash: You kinda learn to just tune it out.

Caboose's Mental image of Church then approaches the ledge overlooking the area.

Mental-Church: Attention Reds! The great Caboose demands an audience with you! So listen up, you blowjobbing cocksuckers!

Caboose's mental image of Simmons appears. His mental image of Grif appears next, wearing yellow armor instead of his usual orange. Caboose's MI of Donut appeared next, this time as a woman. Evelyn and Sarged looked the same though, even Evelyn's armor was the same... Except for some reason she had a cloak and hood and she was purple and black with a red visor and... goggles?