Death In The Family (Red vs Blue x Male OC)

S1•E9 - After Church

Red Base
Simmons and Grif run up the ramp onto the Red Base where Donut is waiting with the flag and Evelyn standing next to them.

Evelyn: What happened?

Grif: (panting heavily) Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh!

Simmons: Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet. You are really out of shape.

Grif: (still panting) Fuck... You...

Simmons: Eve. How did you not see the tank!? You were supposed to be covering us with your sniper!

Evelyn: I thought you'd guys would be back by the time Donut returned.

Donut: Where's your car?

Simmons: (points to Grif) General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.

Grif: Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.

Evelyn; Wait did you say tank?

Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?

The Warthog suddenly flips up on the base from below by an explosion, landing between Donut and the other two along with sniper shots. The camera cuts to a different angle to reveal Sheila in the background.

Grif: What the hell..!?

Sheila fires.

Grif: SON OF A BITCH!

Evelyn: Oh shit!

Donut: Oh crap! (picks up the flag) What the hell is that thing?

Grif: (crouching next to the Warthog) That's the tank!

Donut: Hey uh, Grif, uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?

Sheila fires.

Grif: No, keep that away from me!

Donut: Uh Eve-?

Evelyn: Hell no!

Middle of the Gulch
Caboose was still in Sheila with Tucker and Ash beside them. The latter having his sniper rifle out and taking a few shots.. The reason being that the driver's canopy was stuck open,. Sheila fires.

Tucker: Why do you keep firing at the jeep?

Caboose: Because it's locked on!

Sheila: Target locked.

Ash: Caboose there should be a setting for unlocking a target.

Tucker: Yeah, unlock it.

Caboose: Last time I unlocked it, I KILLED CHURCH!

Tucker: Oh, right... keep shooting the jeep then.

Ash; I second that motion.

Red Base
The red soldiers were hiding by the ramps

Donut: I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed.

Sheila fires.

Simmons: Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one.

Evelyn: I agree with private kiss ass for once

Simmons: Hey-!

Radio sounds.

Sarge: (on radio, from a Pelican dropship) Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant-

Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?

Sarge: Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command.

Simmons: Sir, (Sheila fires in the background) this is Simmons.

Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.

Grif: Actually, sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow he managed to (Sheila fires in the background) infiltrate the Blue Base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their (Sheila fires in the background) guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.

Sarge: (radio sounds) ... (more radio sounds) ...Am I talkin' to the right base?

Evelyn: Sarge, (Sheila fires in the background) WE. ARE GOING. TO DIE HERE!

Sarge: Well then hold tight, boys and girl. I think I gotta solution to your little "tank" problem.

Middle of the Gulch
Ash and Tucker look up. Their eyes widened.

Tucker: Uh oh.

A aircraft flies over Red Base.

Tucker: Hey, Caboose, (starts backing up) you might wanna get out of the tank. Like right now.

Ash: Caboose, get out of the tank NOW!

Caboose: I can't figure out how to get this thing open!

Sheila: Night vision engaged.

Tucker: Rookie, get out now!

Shells begin exploding progressively nearer to the tank. Ash got on the tank and began pulling on the canopy.

Caboose: Okay, open the do—Okay, I, Sheila, will you please open the door?

Soon Ash forcefully lifted up the canopy.

Ash: Run'

Sheila: Driver canopy open. (Caboose gets out and runs away) Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle-

Shell hits Sheila and the explosion turns her upside down. Meanwhile the two blues run away from the tank.

Caboose: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! Running, running, running! (reaches Tucker, panting) Man, that was close.

Tucker: Look at your tank though.

Sheila: I'm scared, Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... (distorted, elongated) Daisy...

Caboose: Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo!

Ash: ...Who?

Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! W-Wait... Who's Sheila?

Caboose: Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend...

Tucker: Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!