I was 35 when He Was 28

Kabanata 25

TW: abuse, rape
Warning: language

The Missing Truth

"What happened to you, Yohan?" I caressed his chest. He was breathing heavily.

"I was in college when it started." He sighed. He looked at me. "You can't look at me the same way after you hear everything."

Hinila ko siya papunta sa kama para makaupo kami. Hindi ko binitiwan ang kamay niya, natatakot ako na baka sa oras na ginawa ko iyon ay mawala na naman siya.

"Ang tagal kitang hinintay, ang tagal kong nagtiis na wala ka. Ngayon pa ba ako mag-iinarte? I will always look at you with adoration and love, you don't have to worry."

He smiled. Oh, my... I missed him so much.

"Akala ko magagalit ka sa akin. Akala ko pagbalik ko, wala ka na. Nasa iba ka na at maligaya." Hinawakan din niya ako nang mahigpit.

"Tell me what happened. Gusto kong malaman ang lahat tungkol sa iyo. Please, include me in to your life, baby."

He let out a deep breath. "It started when I first went to college. Freshmen year. Nervous and excited at the same time. I met this group of loud and friendly people. Dahil mag-isa lang ako doon, I grabbed the opportunity to gain friends."

"Sila ang mga kaibigan mo na ayaw sa akin?" tanong ko.

Tumango siya. "Yes, they are those people. Iba-iba ang ugali nila pero pinagtiisan ko dahil wala naman akong ibang choice. One day, Keila..."

Keila?

"Your ex-girlfriend?" Nanlaki ang mata ko.

"Uhuh, she's a part of the group. One day, Keila just kissed me inside the classroom. Bawal iyon, suspension ang parusa kapag nahuli kami. I was in heat because of what Keila did to me. We fucked inside the classroom and Shawn, the leader of the group, filmed us. I don't know what is his intention that time. He blackmailed me." Kinagat niya ang pang-ibabang labi at tumingin sa akin. "He started touching me. Ayoko iyon, Feliz."

Nagulat ako. "Wait, Shawn is a girl, right?"

Umiling siya. "He is a man."

I gasped.

"He let me joined their group because he was lusting over me. Hindi ako makatanggi sa gusto niyang gawin. He was touching me every where anytime he wanted. He will kiss my neck and inhaled my scent." Mas humigpit ang hawak niya sa akin.

Ang bigat ng dibdib ko pero nandito ako ngayon para makinig sa kanya. Kailangan kong tatagan ang loob ko.

"He will invite me to his house. Alam ko na kaagad ang gusto niyang gawin. Tumanggi ako noong una, Feliz. God knows how I want to escape from his grip but I can't."

I wiped his tears. "You can't stop if you want."

He shook his head. "I want to tell you everything. I want to be honest. Gusto ko nang maging tapat sa iyo. No more secrets." He cleared his throat. "Doon sa bahay niya, may mga iba pang tao. Tatlo na sila, Feliz. Tatlo na silang h-humahawak sa akin. They...they undressed me. They were tigers lusting over a fresh meat. I just closed my eyes, waiting for it to be over."

"Yohan, I love you," I whispered.

"They sucked my nipples. They touched my private parts. They put something in my butthole. I was 19, I don't know what to do. They blindfolded me and one of them put his penis inside my mouth. The other one is giving me a blowjob and the other one is masturbating using my hand." He broke down. He is shaking but still managed to hug me. "Huwag kang mandiri sa akin, Feliz. Hindi ko iyon ginusto. Ayoko ang ang mga ginawa nila sa akin."