I was 35 when He Was 28

Kabanata 27

After Pain

"Who shot Mr. Yohan Narcissus Ansalone?"

I don't know how many times Attorney Gael Veda asked me that question. I want to answer but my mouth won't open. I was just staring at one corner and my eyes are tearing up. It won't stop. My heart cannot beat normally until Yohan is still in the operating room fighting for his life.

"Who shot--"

"Attorney, I know that this is an important matter but Feliz is still shocked by what just happened. Her fiance is still inside the operating room. Let her breathe first," Ma'am Grace said. She caressed my back. "Everything will be okay. Yohan is a strong man. I know he can make it," she said to me.

Pare-pareho lang kami ng nararamdaman ngayon dito pero mas alam kong mas masakit ito sa daddy niya na ang anak na lang ang natitirang kadugo. Sinulyapan ko siya, tulala rin siya kagaya ko kanina. Yohan's blood is all over his hands and clothes. I want to comfort him too but I am too weak to even walk.

"I should have told him to not go out. Sana iniwasan na lang namin sila. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko alam na ganito ang mangyayari." Everytime I am hearing a loud noise, I remember the gunshots. Hindi maalis sa isip ko kung paanong walang awang pinagbabaril ni Cedric si Yohan.

"Sino sila, Ms. Feliz?" tanong ulit ni Attorney Veda.

"Cedric and Keila, Yohan's friends," I answered him, finally.

Tumango siya. He showed pictures of them. "Mr. Cedric Ballesteros and Keila David. Who shot Yohan?"

"Cedric shot him," sagot ko ulit sa tanong niya.

"Finally! They gave us a concrete reason to make them rot in jail. This is what Yohan wants," he said then put his phone in his right ear.

"What?" Hindi ko naitindihan ang sinabi niya. Ginusto ni Yohan ito?!

"Nothing, Ms. Saldia. Habang gumugulong ang ikakaso sa mga sangkot, you will be protected. You are a witness." He sighed. "If Yohan can't survive this, I'll read you his last will." He gave me sad smile before talking on his phone. "Hello, yes! This is Attorney Gael Veda, I want to..."

Hindi ko na narinig ang mga sinabi niya sa kausap sa telepono dahil mabilis siyang nakalayo sa akin. Ano ang pinagsasabi niyang Last Will and Testament? Hindi mamamatay si Yohan! Hindi siya pwedeng mamatay! Pakakasalan niya pa ako!

"Don't mind what Attorney Gael said. He will be okay."

I didn't let my faith slipped away. Halos limang oras kaming naghintay sa labas ng Operating Room, hinihintay na lumabas ang surgeon sa loob. We are hoping for a good news to be delivered to us. Hindi ko iniisip na baka hindi niya makayanan. He needs to fight. I am waiting for him.

"Inom ka muna, hija." Inabot sa akin ni Ma'am Grace ang isang bottled water.

Sinunod niyang puntahan si daddy na kanina pa hindi makausap. I lend Ma'am Grace a pack of wet wipes to wipe daddy's hands. Natuyo na ang mga dugo sa kanya. He started crying again when his fiancee talked to him. He can't lose Yohan, nagsisimula pa lang siyang maging masaya ulit siyang maging masaya. He will become devastated again if something bad happen to his only son.

Paano naman ako?

Kababalik lang ni Yohan sa akin. Isang taon pa nga lang na hindi siya nakikita, ang lungkot-lungkot ko na. Makakaya ko bang tanggapin kung mawawala siya? Hindi! Hindi ko kaya!

Lord, alam ko namang mabuting tao si Yohan. You let good people rest in paradise early if You want to. I want Yohan to experience the happiness and freedom he deserves but not in the paradise You prepared. I want him to experience it with me and in this world. Don't take Yohan with You yet. Please...