The one with the youngest Geller

2.2

             The One With the Breast Milk

"Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist."She said walking out of her room with a pair of nike shoes.

"Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it."Pheobe joked. He started crying.

"Oh, is he hungry already?"Susan asked

"I guess so."Carol said. She started to breatsfeed him.

"You know, it's......something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back."Chandler said going into the kitchen"

"I gotta get one, too."Joey said

Ross rolled his eyes and went to the kitchen.

"Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?"Chandler said

"Sure."She smiled

"Uh, does it hurt?"Joey asked

"It did at first, but not anymore."Hee replied

"Chandler?"Hoey asked

"So, uh, how often can you do it?"He asked

"As much as he needs."She todl him

"Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?"Joey asked

"Joey"Ross yelled

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"Rachel, do you have any muffins left?"Julie asked

"Yeah, I forget which ones."

"Oh, you're busy, that's ok, I'll get it. Anybody else want one?"She asked

We all shook our heads.

"Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?"She asked

"I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet." Pheobe said

"Ok, um, I'll go with you."Mon shrugged

"Great." Julie smiled

"Hi, honey."Ross greeted as he entered

"Hey, sweet cheeks."Chandler replied jokingly

"Hello to the rest."Ross said ignoring him

Ross walked over to the counter where Julie was.

"Mon,what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?"I asked

"It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?"Mon asked

"Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship."Chandler joked

"But I'm..."Mon started

"Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street."Pheobe told her

"So, uh, Julie tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?"Ross said rejoining us

"Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.ʻMon shrugged

"It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this."Ross smiled
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"Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep."Carol told Ross

"Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son."Ross replied

"Honey, relax. Ross is great with him......Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person."Susan said

"Oh, this is so cute."Rach said

"Oh, I got that for him."Susan said

"My mommies love me.That's clever."Ross faked laughed

The phone rang

"Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju—jew"Monica greeted the person on the phone she walked into the kitchen."

"Did you just say Hi, Jew?"Rach asked

"Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith."
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"Ben, dinner!"Pheobe yelled holding the bottle of milk.

"Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that."Ross reminded

"Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. "She said befor squirting some on her wrist.She licked it.

"What did you just do?"Chandler  yelled

"I licked my arm, what?"She asked

I gagged

"It's breast milk." I reminded

"So?" She asked

"Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person."Rach told her

"What the big deal"Joey asked before squirting some on his arm and tasting it.

"What did you just do?"Chandler asked him

"Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?"Ross asked

"You won't even taste it?"Pheobe asked Ross

"No!" He yelled

"Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?"She asked

"Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it."He said
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After hearing a knock  on the door,i came out of my room to find Chandler and Ross asleep on the rim of bens Crib

I felt weird seeing Chandler sitting there asleep.

It was.....sweet.

"Hey!"Carol and Susan greeted

"Hey 'Carol and Susan"I said loudly which woke up Chandler and Ross

Phone walked out of the  kitchen and over to the door.

"How did it go"Carol asked

"Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out."Pheobe told them

"I did not freak out."He said

"Why'd you freak out?"Carol asked

"Because it's breast milk. It's gross."Ross yelled

"My breast milk is gross?"Carol asked

"This should be fun."I smiled

"No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults."Ross said

"Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike"Chandler said

I hit him in his chest.
He fake laughed like he was joking.

"Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it."She said holding out a bottle.

"That would be no."Ross said

"Come on. It doesn't taste bad."

Joey: Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh...

"Cantaloupe juice."Susan said

"Exactly."Joey pointed at her

"You've tasted it? You've tasted it."Ross asked Susan

"Gimme the bottle."Ross said

He rolled up his  sleve and squirted some on his arm.

"ah gimme the towel"Ross said before wiping it off.
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We sat him down with a baby bottle and some cookies.

"Oh my god just do it already"I yelled

"Why donʻt you try some"He said

"ew no iʻm good"I said

"exactly."

He sighed before taking a swig of the milk.

He stuffed some cookies in his mouth trying to drown out the taste.