APART (S.M)

Part 5

Molly Pov

It had been about 2 days since i got to Toronto. After i had walked out of his condo, i ended walking around the city for maybe an hour, i stopped in this little cafe and bought myself an iced tea and sat there for maybe another hour. Shawn found me there, not like he had called or texted me asking where i am, which for some reason i felt was more romantic. when he came up to the table i was sitting at, he didn't say anything, he just sat with me. Which i kind of appreciated, i didn't need to talk about it anymore, i just needed the comfort, and he gave me that. 

Shawn and i didn't speak anymore about feelings, and these past two days has literally just been like two friends hanging out, there was no spark or connection there, it was almost like he had completely shut himself off to me after telling me how he felt which honestly sucked. Because even though i was here in Toronto with Shawn Mendes, i still felt incredibly alone. And to be honest, i don't know how much longer i want to feel like this. 

--------

I sat on his cream coloured cloud sofa, my legs up to my chest, coffee on the side table and reading a book. i had my hair in a lose bun and was wearing black and white checkered pyjama pants and a light washed out yellow hoodie, i didn't care how i looked anymore knowing that this was going no where, and i was preparing myself on how i was going to tell Shawn that i had booked flights home tomorrow. he wont care anyway. 

Shawn walked into the room wearing blue and red checkered pyjama pants and no shirt, and god he was gorgeous, he made this so hard, i literally just wanted to jump and wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him. but i cant, he dosen't see me like that. 

Shawn's Pov

she was gorgeous, but i had lost her, again. i got over my little Camila meltdown, honestly i think anybody in my position would react the same way. Molly was right, i did still love her but i wasn't in love with her anymore, honestly i was happy for her. When we got back to the condo Molly changed, she seemed a lot more distant and closed off and to me it seemed like she didn't want to try anymore so i respected that and i'm treating this more as a friend thing, but honestly it is killing me. i just want to hold her, the way she is sitting on my couch making herself at home is the cutest thing to me and i want her to be mine but the age thing is still ringing loudly in the back of my head. I talked to Andrew about the situation and he said that everyone would be happy for me and respect her and get along with her, but the public could not find out. 

"Shawn, you okay?" I snapped back to reality realising i was probably standing there staring at her like a freak. i scratched the back of my neck awkwardly and walk over to the other end of the couch.

"sorry i was just thinking about the new album" i lied as i sat down. she put her book down, turned to me crossing her legs and grabbed her cup of coffee and took a sip, does she want to keep talking, maybe this is her trying to open up again? I have to try.

"how'd you sleep" she said quietly as if she didn't want to over step any boundaries but i didn't mind of course.

"good, it was cold though" i looked up to her and she blushed a little, then did a sly smirk. she got what i meant, thats a good thing right, that she didn't get mad about it. "so was i" she whispered while still smiling at me, god her smile was gorgeous, she had a dimple but only on one side and her freckles were the most amazing thing id ever seen, i hated when she covers them with her makeup. 

"the team is going to a club tonight, come with me molly" i blurted out, i flew her here and i want her to have a good time, wether asking her was right or not, i had to. i looked at her again, she had placed her coffee cup back down and moved her legs back up to her chest and rested her head on her knees, i can not stop looking at this girl.

"yeah sure, id love too" she smiled at me then got up, she went into the bathroom and i heard the shower turn on.

Molly Pov

we were at the club, i have had maybe 2 vodka lemonades just to calm my nerves but i don't know how much i am actually going to drink yet, i am still scoping out the whole environment, like wether it is actually that kinda night to get absolutely fucked. i feel like i need it though, with what iv had to deal with these past few day's, i mean the situation i am in is absolutely awkward. i look across the table and see Shawn talking to this bleached blonde model, i'm not going to lie she was stunning and there was nothing i could say about her to make myself feel better about myself, honestly just looking at her made me feel worse. they were laughing and he had his arm around her and she had her hand on his knee. i honestly can not believe him, acting this way in front of me, instead of doing it with me when he literally flew me out here. 

I must of been staring for a while because Shawn smirked at me then winked, honestly i could feel the heat rise up into my face, fuck this is embarrassing now he knows i'm jealous. he took his arm off the girl and moved out of his seat, i knew he was coming over to me so i quickly got up and walked over to the bar, i don't want to talk to him, not now not ever. 

"4 vodka shot's please" i stated, i'v decided i'm going to get fucked up. i felt a hand on the bottom of my back, a hot breath against my neck. i knew who it was. 

"take it slow mols" he whispered into my ear, sending shivers all over my body, i hate how easily he could do that to me, and he knew he could too. he walked to the side of me and leant his hip on the bar so he was facing me. i took one of the shots. 

"jealous baby?" he smirked at me. 

"god you must be drunk" i scoffed, i took another shot. he laughed at my comment because i knew he could tell i was being defensive. hearing him call me baby was almost divine, the way it rolled of his tongue, i wanted him to call me that all the time.

"i think that means my plan was a success" he was still smirking at me, his eyes burning into the side of my head, i still hadn't looked at him. i took another shot, the alcohol was starting to burn my mouth now, i stuck my tongue out and squinted my eyes together and shook my head a little to quickly get over the taste. he was trying to make me jealous? what a dick. i turned to look at him, he was still of course smirking but his eyes were soft. 

"what? so you were trying to make me jealous?" he nodded at me "why would you want to do that?" i blurted out confused, i stared deep into his eyes to let him know he wasn't intimidating to me, and to be honest with the alcohol running through my system i wasn't. 

He didn't awnser me instead he put his hands around my waist and pulled me close to him, our chests were touching, i placed my hands on his chest, not to push him away though. my breath hitched, our faces were so close to each other, closer than they had ever been, our noses were touching. we were still staring into each others eyes. he closed his and kissed me. he shocked me for a second, until i realised what was going on and i closed my eyes and kissed him back. i placed my arms around his neck and he squeezed my waist tighter and pulled me even closer to him which i didn't think was possible. it was amazing, our first kiss, i wanted more, but i couldnt. i pulled back.

"meet me on the dance floor" he let go and winked at me before walking to the dance area. i turned back to the bar and stared at my last shot. 

"fuck" i muttered before downing the last drink and walking over to Shawn.

a/n 

bit of a long chapter i know, i'm sorry. if you are enjoying could you please interact somehow so i know people are actually reading it, i would love if you commented what you want to happen so i can add some of the ideas into my book. this is my first proper book and honestly im enjoying it, iv had alot of inspo recently. ALSO pls note, if i ever make shawn look bad, i know he's not a bad person and probably wouldnt act like how i might portray him in the book, but it is just for dramatic purposes. i do love the man ahaha. anyway enjoy. x