APART (S.M)

part 15

molly pov

"Shawn" i stuttered while still looking at the ground, i'm scared, i'm scared he will walk away.

"i'm pregnant"  i looked up into his eye's and his eyes were black. he took 3 steps back and his mouth went ajar as he tried to figure out what to say. i had time to think before i told Shawn and i want to keep the baby, and he is alway's talked about how he has wanted kids, i know it's early but it could always work.

"get an abortion" he bluntly said to me. no question in what he was saying. he knew what he wanted i could tell. 

"w-what?" was all i managed to squeeze out. 

"i fucking hate you molly, what would make me think i would want a kid with you?" he screamed at me his eyes full of rage and anger "why the fuck would i want to have a kid that is part you, you are fucking disgusting" he was screaming, spit was coming out of his mouth and hitting me in the face. then all of a sudden he started morphing, he wasn't Shawn anymore and he was this black figure with no face. like a shadow man. the whole room went pitch black but i could still see this terrifying figure in front of me.  

"i will get you eventually" he growled at me then this big wided smile reached over his face. 

I woke up in a sweat, hyper ventilating again. the nightmare's are back. it is always the same guy, telling me that he is going to get me. i get nightmares when my anxiety get's really bad. i look around the dark room, the hotel room is so big, so much space for someone to hide and me not know. i feel like i am being watched. i start to feel very frightened for real this time. i cant sleep in here. i get out of bed quickly and put my slippers on then i practically run out of the door just incase someone is in there so they cant get to me. i know my mind is only playing game's on me but it is still scary. i don't know anyone on this tour yet expect for Shawn. i know he is probably fuming at me right now because of what happened this morning at the airport but i have to be with him. 

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"what are you doing here?" he ask's as he opens his hotel door, his sleepy groggy voice is so sexy

"i had a nightmare" i said embarrassed, what 18 year old needs to sleep with someone else when they have a bad dream. 

"ok? what do you want me to do?" he questions, leaning against the door frame with his arm's crossed

"can i please stay in here with you? i cant sleep in there alone" i whisper, looking at the ground. Shawn groans then moves to the side, telling me to come in. as we walk into his room i am in awe, it is a lot bigger than mine but still really cosy and warm. 

"i can sleep on the couch, thank you for letting me stay" i say as i walk towards his massive couch.

"we are adult's. well i am, we can share the bed" he mutters. clearly a dig at me but i am not going to push it, i am lucky he is letting me stay. 

i'm not arguing with that either, i just want to be close to him again. feel his arm's around me and if this get's me one step closer to it then so be it. i walk to the other side of his bed and lift up the duvet and get in slowly, his back is facing to me and he sighs deeply. i am lying on my back looking straight up at the ceiling, i can't sleep. not with this tension. 

"i'm sorry for what i said at the airport, it was wrong of me" i muttered out, he shifted slightly so i knew he was listening "i'v just been pushing myself to believe you are wrong for me, but i can't do it anymore" he need's to know the truth, i don't want to play game's anymore. i just need him, need his support, i need Toronto Shawn back. Shawn rolls over onto his other side so now he is facing me, i roll over and mimic his position so now we are facing each other. he still hasn't said anything so i think he want's me to keep talking, i am happy to do so. 

"i was so hurt over what happened with Camila after i left" he goes to interject but i put my finger up to his lip's so he cant interrupt, he grabs my finger with his hand but dosent say anything, just holds my finger, his touch makes me feel warm. "i should of let you explain, but what you said in that interview pushed me over the edge" he looks away from my eyes, he know's what i'm talking about and i can see guilt written all over his face, i carry on "seeing you with all those girl's, every night. i wanted to get you back" he has a puzzled look on his face when i mention getting him back, if i'm going to be honest it has to be about everything "sam and i never dated, he is my best friend. it was all staged just to make you jealous" he raises his eyebrows at me, he has a glisten in his eyes that i can see through the moonlight shining through the curtains, he still hasn't said anything which is making me nervous.

"i'm sorry Shawn, you were right when you said i was pathetic because i eventually ended up acting that way" we both sigh at the same time. obviously this conversation has gone nowhere and has meant nothing to him, id prefer to suck it up and be scared in my hotel room then feel heartbroken, i roll over and push the blankets off me and start to get out of the bed. i feel a hand grab my arm and my heart flutters slightly. 

"where are you going?" he starts rubbing his thumb along my arm

"back to my room" i sigh without looking back to him

"but i thought you said you were scared" he pull's me down closer to him and hold's me tight in his arms, i move my head to his chest and put my leg over his legs. i missed this, he is like a drug and i need him to feel better. 

"i am" i whisper into his chest and he is running his finger's through my hair

"then stay" he mumbles as his lips were on my head which he then places a soft kiss on.

"always" i whisper back and grab onto him tighter as if he is going to disappear any minute.

a/n

i hope you guys are liking it so far, i know it is very dramatic and something is always happening. i know there are a few engaged readers and id like to thank 

wnderflies and belizabliss for adding my book to their reading list's it really mean's a lot!!

please vote and comment!! i would love to hear what you guys have to say about my book. actually dying to know what you guy's think!!