APART (S.M)

part 26

1 month time skip**

Molly Pov

I'm not going to lie when i say that things haven't been perfect, but at the same time, it has been all iv ever asked for. Of course we have a few odd arguments here and there and sometimes we disagree on things but whenever i look at Shawn, all i can think about is how much i am in love with this man. 

Shawn made me block Austin on everything, which i didn't object against because.. well, you know. I ended up being honest with sam about how i felt, all my friends back home were a little disappointed in me that i chose Shawn over my life long friend considering the circumstances but they don't know what we have, and i think everything is fine with them now. Apart from Sam, he hasn't talked to me since which tears me up everyday but what can i do? 

My nightmares haven't been as bad, but every now and then they do come but Shawn is always right there next to me to calm me down and reassure me that everything is going to be okay. OH and also, hailee left, thank god. she said she knew she was in the way of something and wanted to step back and she was so understanding about it that she still paid Shawn. 

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"i cant believe these jean's wont button up anymore, i literally bought them a month ago" i groaned as i stood in front of the mirror jumping up and down trying to force the button to close. we are currently in Italy and i have been eating a lot of carbs. 

"oh no maybe you're pregnant" Shawn smirked at me while winking as he poked his head out of the bathroom. i looked over at him and rolled my eyes which only caused him to laugh at me as he knew he had achieved at winding me up. 

"that's not even possible" i said to myself but must of been loud enough for Shawn to hear as he walked outside of the bathroom and stood in front of me with a confused look on his face. 

"what do you mean? impossible?" My heart broke for him, we had conversations multiple times about how he wanted to be a dad and i had heard in interviews that he really wanted to be a dad. this might be a deal breaker for him. 

"uh-" i have never told anybody this apart from my family, the day that i found out my heart broke. you know how some people say they are destined to be something? or that they were born to do a particular something? well, thats how i felt about being a mum. And honestly i still haven't even come to terms with it myself. 

"hello? Molly?" he waved his hand in front of my face that bought my attention back "whatever it is, i'm here for you, i love you" he put both of his hands on either side of my face and was rubbing his thumb on my cheek which only caused me to smile and feel a lot more comfortable.

"i have endo" i sighed, whereas he just had an even more confused look "endometriosis" i continued. 

"wh- what is that molls?"  he was trying to stay positive but i knew that he knew what this meant. 

"my tissue grows on the outside of my uterus instead of the inside, inflammation ruins my eggs and the blockage from the tissue prevents conception" i was rambling and looking at the floor, tears started rolling down my cheeks as i started to realise what this meant for me, what this meant for us. he wouldn't want to be with me anymore, not when i'm like this. the most important and valuable thing a women can do, i cant. i cant give him the one thing he wants most in the world. 

Shawn grabbed my hand and walked us over to the couch, he sat down then pulled me down onto his lap so i was straddling him, he started wiping the tears away from my eyes while show a look of pity on his face, which only made me feel worse. 

"why haven't you said anything" i stared straight into his brown eyes and he shrugged.

"there is no right thing to say here molls, my heart hurts for you. i know how much you wanted to be a mom" he wiped another tear away from my face "and also confusion because you know how much i want to be a dad" 

here it comes, the break up. 

"but i am not leaving you, i didn't even think about that, but i know you and i know you thought that i might leave you" he smirked at me and it caused me to giggle, he's right he does know me. he's such a dork.

i didn't know what to say, i also didn't know how to thank him for being so understanding. so i just grabbed his face and leant in and kissed him as hard as i could and with so much love. he placed his arms around my back and just held me so tight. this was all i needed. 

he pulled away. 

"we have so many other options baby, surrogate, adoption, ivf. we will be okay" he smiled softly at me and i nodded. 

maybe everything would be okay. 

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sorry for not updating, i have many reasons. writers block, didn't know if people wanted me to continue, end of semester uni work and i work a lot. BUT i am back, sorry if this wasn't the exciting coming back chapter you hoped for but it is a really important part of my story and really important to know. 

also i think every female who has really bad periods or pains. to go get it checked out. because endo is so common in todays society. i have it. and if you leave it to long it will get so bad that they wont be able to remove it. sorry that got really deep LOL

pls leave comments for story suggestions xoxoxxooxoxoxox