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nine | hospital

january 17th

very important date in this book

~no pov

Harry's door was kicked down the next day, when he didn't respond to anything. Dudley was mad that his alarm kept going off, and lost his temper.

He didn't know how to react to seeing his cousin half-dead for the third time. He'd seen this film before, and he didn't like the ending. First, it was an overdose and he was taken to the hospital. Second time, it was him slitting his wrist and having a home doctor come stitch it up.

This time it was an overdose, again.

Now, Dudley was a prick, but he never wanted his cousin to commit suicide. Mostly, it was for him. It was low-key traumatising to see it once, let alone three times.

He never told anyone about it. Committing meant having reasons. Harry might have thirteen, like Hannah, or maybe three. But Dudley would have to explain why Harry tried to end it, three times. And that wasn't pretty.

"Oh yeah, my dad hits him a lot, my mum shouts and slaps him sometimes and, oh, me and my friends bully him."

Wasn't exactly good for the Dursley's.

So, to Harry's relief, each attempt was hidden away with the other secrets Number Four Privet Drive kept.

"Dad, he did it again." Dudley groaned, and picked up his cousin. When he felt how light Harry was, he mentally noted to leave leftovers at dinner.

Dudley was a prick, but he wasn't heartless. His father was, but he wasn't.

"Again?" Vernon groaned too. "I don't have time for that. Let him die."

The younger Dursley almost choked. Surely he didn't mean that, right? "Ha, funny. I'm calling an ambulance."

His dad didn't reply, and moments later, he heard the door shut. Work, of course. Of fucking course, Vernon Dursley would go to work instead of worry about his almost-dead nephew.

Dudley put Harry down to call an ambulance and then picked up the finished Smirnoff bottle and empty paracetamol packets. Alcohol and pills were dangerous. If the ambulance didn't hurry, Harry might actually die this time.

"Damn it, Harry." Dudley sighed. He felt guilty. Why was he feeling this way? He should be mad that Harry's scarring him again. "Is this about the detention? Could I have prevented this?"

Dudley shook his head. No. He would not start spiralling. He is a bully, a bad person. He will not feel the way he does right now.

He noticed a blade inside one of his half-open drawers and sighed. When he got home, he would find every single blade possible and bin them all. And lock the bathroom cabinet.

A knock on the door snapped him out of it, and he picked up the featherweight brunet and went downstairs. Quickly, he checked Harry's wrists to see nothing but scars, and was relieved, not that he'd ever admit it.

"You better fucking make it."

Dudley sat in the waiting room of the Emergency Room with his mum, who was sleeping. She cared just a little more than his dad did. It dawned on him how neglectful his family was, but he pushed those feelings down with the rest.

He grew up being the bad guy, the spoiled one, the mean one. What was he without being a bully? That was the way he was taught to be. Changing that would be weird, new and not very Dudley-like.

Besides, his parents love the way he is: mean. And they hate Harry: a good person. To be loved, he had stay the way he is.

"Petunia Dursley, guardian of Harry Potter?" A nurse called out.

"Mum." Dudley nudged his mother. "Oi, mum, wake up."

"What?" She sat up. "Who died?"

"You mean, who didn't?" Hopefully.

"Hi, Mrs Dursley. We've managed to get the alcohol and paracetamol out of Harry's system, and he's currently awake." The nurse explained. "He consumed everything about seven hours prior to him being taken in."

"That's great." Petunia replied bluntly. The nurse seemed confused, concerned even.

"Just to let you know, we've checked his records and this is the second time he's come in for an overdose. I recommend locking away alcohol and pills, and take him to a therapist." The nurse suggested. "We may need to send him to a mental hospital, with your consent, of course."

"Sure."

"Mum, mum, dad would be mad if he wasn't home." Dudley whispered. "He needs to cook and clean and everything."

"Would you like to think about it first?"

"No." Petunia shook her head. "Just let us know when he can leave."

The nurse checked the sheet quickly. "We'll keep him here for a day just to make sure he's fit and healthy. You can go visit him."

"No thanks, I have work." She stood up. "Come, Dudley. You have school."

"I'll go by myself." He smiled. He wanted to see his cousin, and ask the nurse a few more question.

Once the tall, horse-faced woman was out of sight, Dudley stood up and chased the nurse. "Excuse me, erm, Joseph?"

"Yes?"

"Harry, my cousin," he started, "w-would he have, erm, died? If I didn't find him when I did?"

"Potentially. With his prior liver damage and malnutrition, maybe." Joseph answered. "I'm legally required to ask this, the bruises. Is there any abuse in your household? I would've asked your mother, but she left before I could."

Yes, there is, and I want to admit it.

But I need my parents.

"No, no he just gets in fights a lot. Sports, too." Dudley laughed. "Troublemakers, am I right?"

"Alright."

"Can I see him?"

"Yeah I'll take you to him."

"Oi, asshole, wake up." Dudley hit Harry's shoulder, jolting the boy awake.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I-" Harry fixed his wonkily-placed glasses. When did he put them on? "Dudley?" Looking around, he realised what happened. He failed. Again.

"Yes, stupid, it's me." He rolled his eyes. "Again? Seriously?"

"Why do you care?" Harry replied harshly. you were one of the reasons why.

Dudley sighed. "Third times a charm for me. You're my cousin. I don't want you dead."

"Sure don't act like it." Harry glared. "You slammed my head into a mirror and broke it the other day. I swear there's still a shard somewhere in my hair."

"Cause your hair's a bird nest."

"Shut up."

"Listen." Dudley started. "You're my cousin. And- and I realised how shitty I am, and how shitty mum and dad are. You're just a kid, y'know. Besides, I just realised you've never really done anything bad to me."

"Right, who are you and what did you do to my cousin? Because he's borderline abusive and an exact replica of his parents."

The slightly older boy clenched his jaw. His cousin was right. He is borderline abusive, and an exact replica of his parents. "Fuck you."

And he left.

"I knew you wouldn't fucking change." Harry yelled. "Fuck you."

i wish i didn't fail again.